Is it because it is January that I feel the need to reflect and 'find me'?, is it because I have just turned 40? Is it because I have just lost someone very close and dear to me?
I honestly do not know whether it is anyone of these things or none of them. But I do feel very gratefuly that I have the time to do it. My sister was never one for looking back, I now realise that this is probably because living took so much effort there really was no time for reflection (or not much anyway). I have had times in my life when there really has felt like having 'no time' and there have been other moments when there has seemed to be so much time that I can't settle to do anything.
I do not want my 'trying to find me' to be a search for something that isn't there, my hope is that by writing my thoughts and sharing them I might be able to order them and rediscover the things that make me, me. I am also hoping that by seeing how people react to my thoughts I might be able to learn some more about me and see how others might be seeing me. I trust in my God to use those around me to help to mould and shape me to be the person that he made me to be. What I find most mind blowing is the thought that, God already see's me as he made me to be because of what Jesus did!