Monday, 12 January 2009

Going Back

They are funny things, time and experience aren't they? In the last 10 days or so I have written about my mums experience of entering the world, am reading Private Peaceful by Michael Morpurgo and spent some hours last week clearing my Grandmothers house and discovered she had been married before meeting the man I knew as a Granddad. An amazing friend on reading some of my blog, commented about the ripple effects that war (on this occasion the 2nd WW, but pertinent to all I'm sure) has. I had never really thought about this in relation to me before - but if it hadn't been for the war my mother would never have been born. She would never have been abused, she would never have met my dad, she would never have had me - I can't quite decide whether this is a good thing or a bad thing!

Is it a case of our amazing God really and truly being able to 'work all things for good' (Romans 8:28) for those who love him. I cannot presume that my ancestors did not love Him anymore or less than me, that is not a judgement I have to make (Thank God!!).

I am in no way saying that the war was good or from God! nor am I saying that being born into such terrible abuse is good or from God. But surely I do need to cling onto this verse to have faith and trust that there must be something more to my life than just what is happening to me now. Is this just me (or my ego) wanting to be important! Or can I really believe that I am dearly loved and part of Gods amazing plan of relationship with humanity! Oh that's heavy for me on a Monday afternoon!!!!

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