A Quiet Christmas

 
What does Christmas mean?  Family? Friends? Church? Jesus? Presents? Food? Pretty lights?  Over the years all these things have taken a turn.

This year for me it has been about Stillness.

Our Christmas Eve didn't go to plan, we usually go to the same cinema watch a Christmassy film and then go to the same restaurant.  We arrived at said cinema to discover the film had sold out (we hadn't thought of booking as in previous years films have never been full!).  We ended up having to go to another cinema to watch a different film, that turned out okay, when we came out no restaurants were taking new sittings.  We ended up going home and getting take out pizza, that would have turned out okay, except we rarely have take out pizza and it upset my stomach!  It was nice to see the children excited and I was very surprised when we went in the kitchen before bed and found this

The glass is full of water as she felt Santa needed to watch his weight!


My lovely husband was working on Christmas Day, it has happened in the past but this is the first time the children are aware of it.  This made me totally rethink our day.  Food was definitely not going to feature any importance, we had a special breakfast with lovely fresh pastries before any present opening, but that was the only meal we all at down together for.  For the rest of the day, I put a selection of nibbly food out on the table and we grazed through the rest of the day (the children did eat rather a lot of chocolate).

My mum had gone up to the East Midlands to spend time with my brother and his family (something I had to instigate to get a break).  My niece is physically closer and not in a secure unit this year so we were able to arrange for her to be brought over for a couple of hours.  She didn't want to come to church so we went to the 9.15 service which was lovely.  Sadly we had to leave before the communion to be home in time for our niece.

It was lovely to see her opening her stocking.  The children's stockings were given to the children when they were very small by my sister when she was alive.  The girls have the same ones with an angel on them and my boy has a Santa on his.  We spent most Christmas Days all together, either at hers or at ours.  This is only the second Christmas Day the children can remember not having woken up all together.  I didn't know that my husband was snapping these pictures.

In this one particularly my niece looks so much like my sister it took my breath away.  Her face profile, her body posture, her hair, oh how it makes my heart ache.

A very nice care home worker came a little too early to pick her up as we were having a go at using the girls new pom pom makers, but he very kindly was happy to sit and chat with my husband and son while we finished what we were doing.

After she left, so did dear husband.  We ended up watching a lot of television! My daughter and I did decide to start a project with her pom pom makers though, did you see the wreath in the first photo in this post?  It was full of plastic ornaments, but in common with my door wreath which you can see in my previous post we decided to fill it with pom pom's

My lovely friend in New Zealand came on line later in the evening which meant I had some adult conversation and a bit of scrabble playing.  The day then ended with the extra surprise of my husband getting off work three hours early!  Which was so lovely as we would have all been in bed otherwise.

So all in all it was different.  It was quiet.  It was peaceful.  God was there with us, it feels as though we were able to keep the real meaning of Christmas at the heart of our day.  I am now determined to celebrate the Christmastide season and not just leave Christmas behind now that the 25th has passed by.  I haven't decided what we will do, I know it will be quiet, but I hope we can keep it Christ centred.

Proud Moma Moment - A Different Christmas.

 

At the end of October we went and stayed with my sons God-Parents and had been having a conversation with them about Christmas.  Their children are much younger than ours (3 and 1 year old), they are both Anglican ministers and run a Parish in Cheshire together.  Christmas therefore is an extremely busy time for them.  So far they have managed to keep 'Santa' out of their Christmas celebrations completely.  We were having a discussion about how that might continue and it got me thinking why I chose to go the route I did with my family.  I have to be honest and admit that it wasn't something I felt I made a conscious decision about.  My children are not the eldest within the wider family, so maybe I just picked up the traditions that my siblings and parents had already put in place.  I feel quite ashamed that I did not put more thought into it.

In November I was reading another of Ann Voskamps posts at Holy Experience and it shook me to my core, it once again took me back to why as a family we do the things we do at Christmas.  In her post she describes how 10 years ago when her son was 5 years old, he suddenly asked why people get presents at Christmas, when everyone normally gets presents on their birthdays and this was Jesus's birthday.  Her reaction to this was to invest in presents for Jesus and not for their family members - a tradition that they have carried on ever since.

This year I was working up until Christmas Eve, the first time since I started paid employment within the church.  I found this far more focused my mind on the reality of Advent and Christmas.  Boosted by the idea that Ann took on for her family, I chatted with my husband and we decided to talk to the children about it.  This meant no longer talking about Santa leaving presents, we knew our eldest two (13 and 11) didn't 'believe' in Santa but knew we just talked about him with a twinkle in our eyes, however I was not totally certain about my youngest daughter (9 years).  We sat together after a meal and I told them about the blog post that Ann wrote.  We chatted about Santa and why we have always followed the tradition that we have - honestly.  They were all very interested and understanding in our discussions.  Then came the point when I made the suggestion - "How would you all feel about not having presents from your parents/carers this year?"  I quickly reassured them that we could still do stockings (small things including lots of sweeties), feeling that cutting everything out might just be too overwhelming.  I also pointed out that they would still get presents from wider family members and friends and we would still buy presents for them to.

It was during this conversation that we started talking about the stuff that they often got, usually one main present (a toy, etc) and then lots of smaller presents of things that to be honest I would at any other time of the year buy them anyway.  For example, wellies, pyjamas, new underwear, new school bags, etc.  We all agreed that generally we are in the very luxurious position of being able to get the things we need in our life. My husband and I most definitely did not 'need' anything and I knew he found present buying very very stressful. We then started chatting about what sort of things Jesus would like for his birthday.  With some very gentle encouragement they started to understand that he would probably want things for those that don't have anything, or at least very little.

So on the afternoon of Christmas Eve we sat down together after lunch with an Oxfam unwrapped brochure.  I gave each one of us a sum of money and then read through the brochure so we all knew what was in it.  Once I had done this we went round in turn and said what we would like to spend our money on.  I was so very proud of them all, there was no moaning, no mournful looking faces.  Instead we were laughing and playing a little game of guessing how much things might be before I gave them the answer.

It was really lovely when just after the New Year we received a whole load of cards from Oxfam showing all the items that we had purchased, we were all able to again reflect on what we had chosen for Jesus.  The photo at the top of the page is just a small number of these cards, but things like a toilet, a shelter, home care assistant and clean water were just some of the things we were able as a family to give to those who needed it.

I have to confess that we did still treat the children - we brought one family present - a games console, the first time I had purchased one of these for over 14 years (and then it was for my husband as we had no children).  However we didn't let them see this until they had already opened other family/friends presents and their stockings and been to church, and needless to say it has been a great hit.

My youngest summed up the whole experience this Christmas a couple of days ago with "can we or at least can I do this again next Christmas please".  I most certainly think a new tradition has begun.

Retooning the Nativity

This one is even better for those who question the 'traditional' way that the nativity is told these days.

The Christmas Story (HD version)

Another video that I have really enjoyed this week:

THE DIGITAL STORY OF NATIVITY - ( or Christmas 2.0 )

I love facebook - I don't know how people find these things, just friends of friends passing them on I suppose, it is superby when you come across things like this though:

Vegetarian Christmas Food

 

For the last couple of years Christmas has been a bit different from how we have usually done things.  This year I am trying to get back on track.  I have been reminded by two friends in the last couple of days of my 'Christmas Pie' recipe.  This has been one of the things I haven't done, fishing out the recipe to scan in for my friends (once you have tasted this pie you never forget it), I was reminded that it tastes even better when it has been made and frozen.  It is a recipe that I have been using since the first year we got married 14 years ago, I used to get the BBC Vegetarian magazine on subscription which is where I first saw it.  One task I intend to try and get on with in the next week, is to make a good batch of this, the bonus will be that it fills the house with that Christmassy smell :o).

The 12 Days of Christmas.

On the First Day of Christmas we celebrated with gifts

for each other and a celebration meal all together.

On the Second Day of Christmas we travelled to Bri's sister

and again exchanged gifts and had a celebration meal.

On the Third Day of Christmas we spent family time together,

watching Ice Age 3 and playing with our gifts.

On the Fourth Day of Christmas I took the children into town

to spend their Christmas money.

On the Fifth Day of Christmas the children and my husband had

a long cycle ride around where we live.

On the Sixth Day of Christmas I took the children ice skating

and then we went to visit a little puppy and fell in love.

On the Seventh Day of Christmas I had a migraine and spent the day in bed,

the children and my husband spent time with friends.

On the Eigth Day of Christmas we had a quiet day

On the Nineth Day of Christmas we had a family day out exploring some

of our Great English Heritage.

On the Tenth Day of Christmas we went to a friends church and

worshipped happily together as a family.

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas we took down the Christmas decorations

and lovingly wrapped them safely away.

On the Twelth Day of Christmas, all the children went

back to school and I thanked God for all the Good times we have had.

Finding some space.

Last Saturday we celebrated Christmas with my mum and dad who drove the 140 miles from the midlands to stay with us. It is the first time I have every cooked a Christmas lunch for them (though could not have done it without mums help). We opened presents just from each other, went for a lovely walk around the wooded areas of our estate. But it was strained, when someone you love is missing the hole just sits there raw and throbbing. For me this second Christmas without my sister is painful but so far better than last year. I have had the time to enjoy doing and making Christmassy stuff. For my mum, this year she is 'feeling'. Last year the pain was numbing and with house clearing and stuff to do she just drifted through it with my dad.



The culmination of emotions hit a low on Saturday evening and I ended up going to bed at 8.30pm. This did give me time to think and pray about how we could move on the following morning. The idea that came into my head was to go to a little place that I know in the New Forest. It is only a 20 minute car ride from our house it is a little off the normal touristy stopping bits, it used to be an old airfield. When you finally get to the car park this is the sight that greats you:





It is one of those places that I had always wanted to take my sister to, as she was an avid bird watcher and we have been with friends and had tiny birds come and eat from our hands at this point. Just me, my niece and my mum and dad went armed with a big tin of bird seed. It was just perfect. We all found some space.

I made friends with several of the New Forest ponies, one young foal experiencing her first winter kept following me as I hobbled away.

My niece and I both stayed still and tried to entice the little birds to come feed from our hands, alas not this time.

My mum remembered that she had been here before. It must have been on one of the odd occasions in years past when my parents came down with my sister and her daughter and they took my children out for the afternoon to this very spot.

I shall definitely be going back, this is my space to remember my sister close to home. I am very grateful to my daddy for taking these pictures for me.

Our Christmas Tree

When my husband and I were dating we used to belong to a fabulous home group where we were fed, watered and nurtured by an extremely loving American couple. In fact my wedding dress was made upon their dining table (it was the only one big enough!). I used to love their Christmas decorations, their tree was covered in all sorts of decorations and they explained to us the tradition that they had grown up with where a new ornament was placed on the tree every year.

We had been married for 7 months by the time we had our first Christmas together. However our very first decoration was acquired on our honeymoon! We were passing through Monterrey in California and saw a Christmas shop and just could not resist getting this decoration.

As you can see 13 years later the salt dough is not fairing too well, but it started our collection of tree decorations.

Every year at least one new decoration has been added, I have a few more that I thought you might like to see,

this one was to celebrated the first Christmas of our first child.

these ones I made for my 2nd child's first Christmas, pictures of the pair of them which I popped into little craft frames and hung on with ribbon.

Of course since the children have come along there have been lots and lots of homemade decorations made, these are two different angels that I got all the children in our Junior church making many years ago.

This beautiful pair are from America again, this time we were seeing some of New England in the 'fall' and happened upon a Christmas shop and found these lovely clay angels.

It has been a real delight the last few years when the children have gotten old enough to appreciate some of the more delicate decorations and have joined in decorating the tree. They love to hear the stories of where different decorations have come from and have a good giggle at the ones they have made. This year will be our 2nd Christmas with our eldest since her mummy died. Last year she was just a 'guest', this year she is part of our nuclear family. She did not want to help decorate the tree and took some time out by herself while the younger two took part.

However I was very relieved when she came back in and joined us to have the honour of putting the angel on the top (the other two have never done this as they are not tall enough!). With all the Christmas cuddly toys, hats and bits lots of fun was had and we managed to get a lovely family photo (once husband had worked out how to do the self timer on his camera).

Happy Christmas from us all to you x x x x x