Come on a Gondola Ride in Venice!

What a change to my last post.  I am pleased to say that I managed to get back on top of my feelings, talk to the right people and make a decision on how I was going to proceed with what had happened.  All that counselling and prayer is working!  It needed to, as last Wednesday May 18th was hubs and mine 20th wedding anniversary and we took ourselves off to Venice to celebrate.  My husbands second mum (step mum sounds so scary) came and looked after our 15 and 16 year olds.  It was the first time we had been away for more than one night since my mum died 3 years ago.

Now just before we went my husband let on that he wasn't intending to take me on a Gondola.  Fortunately for me Granny Liz felt as strongly as I did that it was something we MUST do :) .

After a couple of days watching the madness of the Gondoliers working in the very busy tourist area around St Marks Square, I decided I needed to use Google to find somewhere quiet!  I found some great tips on trip adviser,  they advised going in the evening and suggested going to an area the other side of the Grand Canal from St Marks Square.  This was in the Academia area, where all the students live.  What wonderful advise it was, the only other Gondola's or boats we saw the whole 40 minute trip were the few minutes on the Grand Canal.  The rest of the time we could hear birds singing and the ripple of water made by our skilled Gondolier as we gracefully glided down the 'streets' and under the bridges.

As we turned onto the Grand Canal, we were shown where Casanova was born and another building where Napoleon lived for a couple of years.

You can see that although the Grand Canal is so much bigger than the small street canals, after 7pm even that quietens down.

All too soon, we were came to the end.  It wasn't cheap you pay 20 euros more after 7pm, making it quite expensive at 100 euros for the 40 minute ride.  It is however a once in a lifetime opportunity that I am so pleased we did and I'm very grateful to google for helping us to find somewhere nice and quiet!

A Bit of Reflection

Mirror lakes, near Milford Sound, South Island, New Zealand, taken April 2014 

A thought struck me today (amazing I know!), this time 6 years ago I was living blissfully unaware of the snowball effect of family illness and deaths I was about to have to embrace.  There are times when I am so thankful that I cannot see into the future.

So where was I, 6 years ago.  I was reasonably well, had recently gone back to work (part-time) after a 7 year child rearing break from paid employment.  I was recovering from an unpleasant period of time when our relationship with our previous church had gone sour.  I had started this blog and was spending a lot of time trying to work out who I was and where I fit into life's big scheme.

And where am I now?  I am physically much weaker, I am no longer able to work.  In many ways I feel mentally/emotionally much weaker too.  However I do not see this as a bad thing.  In fact I can look back at that person I was trying to find 6 years ago and feel quite content that I may just have found the person that God made me to be.

This verse from the Bible just about sums it all up, it is written by Paul as he wrote to the Church in Corinth.

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Six years ago I was still manoeuvring my way through life with the driver, 'Be Strong' that had been instilled in me from being a child.  What I have learnt is that by saying NO, to this driver, by admitting my weakness, I have been able to accept help that I would have previously refused and definitely not welcomed. That is help from God and help from those around me as well.

I am part of a ladies group within our current church that meets each week to do a bible study.  We have been going through a book and dvd that I found on the internet called, Let It Go, by Karen Ehman.  I do apologise if you now have the Frozen tune going around in your head - it really is nothing to do with that song!  What caught my attention was the first chapter, it is entitled, God Called He'd Like His Job Back.  I could so relate to this!  The problem with my, 'Be Strong', driver was that it doesn't leave any room for God!  All your energy focuses on yourself, and I'm sure this is not only to the detriment of my relationship with God but with those around me to!

Over the last six years I have also seen my marriage become stronger.  This seems to have come about by the letting go a little of strong friendships with others.  Don't get me wrong, friendships are very important to me but it has taken this last six years for me to appreciate that they are definitely second to my relationship with my husband.

I do not have life sorted, I am sure there are still plenty more storms for me to weather in the next six years.  I am very pleased that I do not know what is around the corner and I am very thankful for what I have right here, right now.

Blessings,  Jane x.

Our Love Story

My dear friend over at 10 minute writer has been tweeting her love story today (using #ourlovestory)  as it is her 18th anniversary of meeting her future husband on line.  I decided to get in on the act.  I did write a little bit way back when my blog was very new, you can see that post here.  But thought it would be lovely to keep a more sturdy record of my tweeted version, so here it is:

Jane D ‏@MrsJCraftypants

Don't remember our first meeting,it was on the aisle of the church where we later got married. A friend set to match making us 

 Jane D ‏@MrsJCraftypants

First set up date was a meal with other friends - he was in the know about me - I wasn't about him and ignored him all evening

 Jane D ‏@MrsJCraftypants

We ended up as leaders for a young peoples event. He wrote a rap about God one evening which he shared. I was bowled over

 Jane D ‏@MrsJCraftypants

Next time we met was a friends housewarming party. He arrived as everyone was leaving after an afternoon shfit, I stayed on

Jane D ‏@MrsJCraftypants

We talked about house plants and I said I would take a cutting off mine for him. When we left (very late) we shook hands.

 Jane D ‏@MrsJCraftypants

He called me a few days later and asked me to go on a date. We went and had a fantastic evening getting to know each other 

 Jane D ‏@MrsJCraftypants

our told him I had made a deal with God not to kiss another man until I found the one I was going to marry. He was waiting too 

Jane D ‏@MrsJCraftypants

He dropped me home and I gave him his pot plant - he called it Audrey - we still have her 18 1/2 years later.

 Jane D ‏@MrsJCraftypants

Our next date a week later, I met some of his old school friends from Manchester, we went to a garden party - we kissed!

Jane D ‏@MrsJCraftypants

Audrey flourished, so did our love for each other, we had one big obstacle though - my man did not ever want a family, I did.

Jane D ‏@MrsJCraftypants

12mths ltr he took me to a fave place, waited for Concorde to fly over, went down on one knee and surprised the life out of me

Jane D ‏@MrsJCraftypants

A few months later in May he gave me the wedding of my dreams, we left the reception afterwards VERY early ;o)

Jane D ‏@MrsJCraftypants

Our 1st child was born 3 yrs later our 2nd 17 months after that. Life has thrown us some challenges, but we are still in love

If you fancy writing yours I would love to see it, I am very much a romantic at heart!  Do leave a link in my comments.

Intentionally

I don't really do New Years resolutions.  I have read a lot about people have words to follow for the year and that has always rather attracted me.  In 4 years of blogging however I have never felt there was one word that summed up my hopes in myself.  This year however a word has been going round and round in my head all week.

Now I have been applying this word to a lot of things to do with the way I live and bring up my family.  

I am intentionally vegetarian, I don't just do it or bring my children up that way for no reason.  

I always attempt to be an intentional shopper, finding fairly traded goods and ethical, organic produce now happens on a daily basis on the majority of my shopping.

I have an intentional relationship with my husband.  After 16 and a half years we have discovered that listening is terribly important as is saying what you really mean to say.

It is this last point that has particularly got me thinking.  I do this with my husband, but do I do it with all those I am surrounded by all the time?  How often do I walk away from conversations thinking that I didn't really get across what I really wanted to say.

Now there are times I think when it may be more prudent to intentionally ignore, rather than labour a point which is never going to be understood.  However with those to whom I am closest I do feel I could be doing a little better.  Too often I go around the houses or just stay quiet rather than say what I really mean - leaving too many opportunities to be misunderstood.

So they you have it, I am now praying and hope you will join me in trying to put it into practice more and more.

My last Monday at work.

Today I went into work and started with morning prayer with the clergy as we always do on a Monday morning.  The difference today being this will be the last time.  I have been really surprised at how difficult finally letting go of my job has been.  I officially do not finish until Thursday, however I have only a couple of things left to do which I shall be doing on Wednesday.  I have had to go through every file on my PC making sure that I have everything in the right place and also that I am not transferring anything onto the memory stick that I should not!  Today I cam across this lovely poem, I do not know where I got it from but I am so glad that I saved it!

I AM

I was regretting the past
and fearing the future.
Suddenly my Lord was speaking:
"My name is I AM"
He paused.
I waited. He continued,
"When you live in the past
with its mistakes and regrets,
it is hard. I am not there.
My name is not I WAS.
When you live in the future,
with its problems and fears,
it is hard. I am not there.
My name is not I WILL BE.
When you live in this moment
it is not hard. I am here,
My name is I AM."

Helen Mallicoat
________________________________________
And God said unto Moses,
I AM THAT I AM:
and He said, Thus shalt
thou say unto the children
of Israel, I AM hath sent
me unto you.
Exodus 3:14

It has been a great reminder of where I should be directing my thoughts.  On that note I will continue counting my blessings with Ann over at Holy Experience this fine Monday evening.

760. Squeaky bath noises from above accompanied by beautiful 11 year old singing.

761. An amazing night away with my hubby, to celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary.

762. Cream tea at eleven o'clock in the morning!

763.  Inspiration from a market stall.

764.  Rested fingers allowing me to do some more crochet.

765.  My step mother in law coming and doing LOTS of weeding in my garden and planting up some new treasures that we found.

766.  The beautiful sunny week we had last week.

767.  Lovely hubby putting our spare bed out in the garden under the gazebo so I could rest without having to hide away in my room.

768.  My daughter coming home with muddy feet.

769.  My son bringing a new friend home to visit.

Musings on Marriage

I seem to have gotten to that stage in life where the marriages of my peers are falling apart.  This has inevitably led me to look at my marriage.  Life has not been plain sailing in our marriage, especially when the children were small.  We watched a film recently, 'Marley and Me', there is a scene in that when Jennifer Annistons character completely loses the plot with her husband.  They have young children and are both fighting against the feelings that a change and giving up of roles brings on.  It is the closest interpretation of one of our fights that I had ever seen - quite frightful.

So why is my marriage still strong 15 years on.  I have learnt many lessons these are just a five that immediately come to mind:

• Accepting that there will be rough times and setting your mind on resolving to battle through is essential.  Even if this means writing down the pros and cons of making your marriage work and purposely ensuring you write more pros (this might be burying your head in the sand but in a crisis it has worked for me).
• Make your partner your best friend.  I have been blessed with some lovely female friendships through my marriage, however it was only after the breakdown of one that I realised how destructive this relationship had actually been to my marriage.  If the person you want to text, chat and joke with most in the world is not your partner, maybe it is time to re-evaluate that friendship.  For the last couple of years I have deepened friendships but now have much clearer boundaries that I am willing to abide by to protect the best friend status of my partner.
• Saying sorry, repeatedly if necessary, it's a biblical principle and though we might not always feel sorry, saying it is more likely to get us to a place where we mean it than not saying it will.
• Laughing, we have managed to get into some really silly arguments in the past and it has been good to revisit those times and laugh about them. They won't stop happening but it's much harder to have an argument about something you know you are going to end up laughing about.
• Learn each others love language (Gary Chapman).  This has been so helpful to us, when your love languages are very different (as ours are) it is very easy to think that you are showing your partner love by speaking your love language to them and not theirs.  Since discovering the things that really make us feel loved even when we are struggling it is easy to show each other small acts of kindness in the appropriate language.

There are many things that I know we could do better on, praying together is one of those, we seem to go through spates of doing this and then not but I do believe that it is very important.  Turning the television off is another one or shutting down the computer to give each other your full attention.  It is strange that it is only when you do those two things that you realise just how obtrusive they are.

I know I can only say these things coming from the perspective of having a husband who shares the same ideals as I do.  Where there is disparity on agreeing what is right for a marriage I can see that the hurdles become immense.

The fall out from broken relationships seems to be immense, it doesn't seem to matter what age any children from the relationship are, damage occurs in one way or another.  My husbands parents were about to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary when they split!  I would love to know what you think about marriage, what has worked for you?  What hasn't worked for you?  Are there relationships that get so broken that they cannot be repaired?  I do hope no-one reading this feels condemned in anyway about their relationships, that is not my intention, I am just trying to get my head around a subject I seem to be surrounded by.

A time for us (in Paris!!!!!!).

Last weekend, was wonderful, it was the result of a very very spontaneous decision just a few months ago.

My husband had come home from work having heard of a special deal that Air France were doing to train their staff on a new plane the A380 (the super jumbo).  A little search on the internet, a check of our diaries and the booking was made, for an incredible cheap price to.

Here are a few piccies of our special weekend.

Our plane coming in at Heathrow, my husband is a HUGE aero enthusiast and this is the first time he has been on a new plane type so soon after it has been put into service.  The journey was definately his big treat!

Leaving Blighty, an amazing view over Brighton you can see the pier and the marina amazingly well.

And relax, what a treat to find an incredible vegetarian restuarant just around the corner from Notre Dame Cathedral.  After a very leisurely meal we were then able to wonder over to the Cathedral which we were surprised to find still open.  We took the opportunity to light a candle and pray over all that we had been discussing over our meal, sealing our hopes and thanking for where we were.

We were able to linger and read some of the love messages that folk have engraved onto padlocks and affixed to this bridge - how unique and beautiful.

The under chapel at Saint Chapel in the courts of justice, my favourtie place in Paris, but not for this downstairs, for this view, which is well worth the very difficult stone spiral staircase to get to.........

This 13th century church just blows me away, it is soooo majestic, to see the results of those spiritually convicted to build something to Glorify God all those years ago is magical.

Who could this gorgeously handsome gentle man be?  My husband?  Really?  He's mine?   WOW!

We stayed in an old Parisian hotel very close to the Louvre, treating ourselves to a luxury room (after getting such a good deal on our flights).  When this photo was taken I had fallen alseep in the jacuzzi bath after a hard days walking.

On our way home again.  This was the first time we have been abroad alone since having my children 10 1/2 years ago.  It was quite a big deal, the last time we tried this was for my 40th birthday 18 months ago when we had planned to go to Prague but had to cancel it because of my sister becoming very sick and then dying.  It might have been a very quick couple of days but to be able to spend that uninterupted time with my husband was just what we needed.  Hopefully it is not going to take us 10 1/2 years to do it again!

Walking in Love.

Yesterday was our 14th Wedding Anniversary.  We had a lovely day reflecting on our wedding day and particularly on the words that were spoken to us by our vicar during the service.
  
¹ Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children ² and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  Ephesians 5, 1-2 TNIV.

We went for a walk along the beach.  It was an unusual spot - it's still used as a firing range on occassion!  There were so beautiful plants to see:

The way varied, some was stoney - very difficult for me to walk on, some was grassy - much easier for me.  There were some big stone hills which my husband was able to climb but which I needed to found a way around.  Rather like our life really though it is incredible to be reminded that we are not required to walk this life by ourselves.

In fact if we are in a relationship with Jesus then we we are charged with 'walking in the way of Love' a love that can only be gained allowing him to walk with us.  I am absolutely certain that when we do this we will get to see more and more of the beauty that is on the path around us.

Se A Vida E (That's The Way Life Is)...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QtON0ajJS0

The link above takes you to a video of a song titled as my title is. My husband put this on in the car this morning and it got us into a great conversation.

When someone says to you 'that's the way life is,' do you automatically conjure up a negative picture? I realised listening to this, that, that is what I normally do, however, this song totally turns it round for me. Maybe it is the fabulous Latino beat accompanying that makes it impossible to see it as anything negative. Certainly when you watch this video you can't take it as being anything negative.

It suddenly sounds like an extremely positive fact....'that's the way life is!'. Just as 'that's the way life was!' is how I have to view events from the past. At the moment that gives me a real sense of liberation. So much has happened to us in the last year that it can sometimes be very easy to focus on it still being hard. Reality is however that we have some real blessings going on as well. This morning my husband and I got to spend some really lovely quality time together. No pressing jobs to get done, but time to do a few bits of shopping along with going to the bank and stopping for a lovely fair trade coffee at Starbucks in our favourite bookshop (and managing not to buy anything!). Then shortly after arriving home a letter came telling us we were going to be given a large (for us) sum of money by the RAF benevolent fund in back payment for money we have paid out decorating our nieces room and clothing her! My morning had been good, no matter what else happens today no one can take away the fact that this morning was good. Praise God!!

A Fantastic Time

This is a very self-indulgent blog - sorry about it's length but I really wanted to make sure I got down all the things I did on our night away. It may be a while before we get another one. We are both very gratefull to Auntie Helen for coming and looking after the children for us - the children had a ball!





Brian and I arrived in London before Lunch on Friday for the start of our 'free' night away. Being aware of my physical limitations at the moment we made the decision to get a rover ticket on the Thames boats so that I didn't have to walk too far. We parked near our hotel by Tower Bridge and caught the boat and gently cruised up to Westminster. The picture of the left is taken outside Trinity House by Tower Bridge.

The Millennium pedestrian bridge over towards St Pauls. The weather wasn't too hot, and though it threatened rain a few times we didn't get any at all.

The Hotel we were booked into was really lovely. We were on the 11th floor and had a HUGE room. I cannot remember the last time we stayed in a hotel where you couldn't hear a sound in the rest of the hotel. We went down to the Spa and both had a neck, shoulder and back massage before having a swim, sauna and jacuzzi.

After a lovely meal we then headed out to the O2 arena to see the Pet Shop Boys. We had great seats for what we had paid for.

The set was wonderfully simple and yet so well used. There were also 4 dancers who were absolutely brilliant - I'd have paid to see them alone.

The music was great, our last experience at the 02 was not so good so it was great to find out that there were good seats to be had!

This was the view from our hotel when we returned.

This was the view in the morning - what beautiful clouds. You can see the Tower of London with Tower Bridge behind it and just glimpse the Thames on the right hand centre.

After staying in the hotel and having a very leisurely breakfast in our room we then took the car and found free parking outside the Tate Gallery. It was just lovely to wonder round at our own pace we even managed to loose each other in one of the exhibitions we were so immersed in what we were looking at. Does anyone know why Turner painted the same puffy cloudy looking tree in almost all his paintings?

After some lunch we took the car closer to Hyde Park and had a lovely hour to finish off our time alone.

This is the Albert Memorial poking out of the trees.

As we sat chatting I suddenly noticed this love heart in front of us made by the trees! I have started to get very interested in photography - partly prompted by a new lens we brought my husband for Fathers Day!











I have decided I really do like rows of trees!