Intentionally

I don't really do New Years resolutions.  I have read a lot about people have words to follow for the year and that has always rather attracted me.  In 4 years of blogging however I have never felt there was one word that summed up my hopes in myself.  This year however a word has been going round and round in my head all week.

Now I have been applying this word to a lot of things to do with the way I live and bring up my family.  

I am intentionally vegetarian, I don't just do it or bring my children up that way for no reason.  

I always attempt to be an intentional shopper, finding fairly traded goods and ethical, organic produce now happens on a daily basis on the majority of my shopping.

I have an intentional relationship with my husband.  After 16 and a half years we have discovered that listening is terribly important as is saying what you really mean to say.

It is this last point that has particularly got me thinking.  I do this with my husband, but do I do it with all those I am surrounded by all the time?  How often do I walk away from conversations thinking that I didn't really get across what I really wanted to say.

Now there are times I think when it may be more prudent to intentionally ignore, rather than labour a point which is never going to be understood.  However with those to whom I am closest I do feel I could be doing a little better.  Too often I go around the houses or just stay quiet rather than say what I really mean - leaving too many opportunities to be misunderstood.

So they you have it, I am now praying and hope you will join me in trying to put it into practice more and more.

The Green Room

As the decision has most finally been made that my niece will not be coming back to live with us we have decided to turn her old bedroom back into a room we can use.  It is only a little room but we decided to keep a bed in here to be a guest room (which is a good job as it has been used already). My husband suggested that it would be good to let the children keep their musical instruments and stands up in this room to encourage them to play a little more often (their rooms are not very big either).  I rather fancied being able to have somewhere to sit and be quiet.  The result is - The Green Room.

The walls have been painted Dulux Putting Green, it took two coats of paint, but we only used a small tin :o).

The mirror was already in situ.  The two little white wooden shelves are from Ikea

The chair was a bargain buy from ikea for just £40.00 it is cream and so I have covered it with a throw which will hopefully help it to wear a little better.  All the pictures we already have, the three on the same wall are cross stitch embroideries that I did in the early 1990's.  The iris picture was made by my sister and given to us as a present in 2004.

The little bedside table was another good purchase for just under £40.00, the lamp was £5.00 these were both from The Range.  The lovely little green glass candle holders were £1.00 from ikea and I already had the beautiful holding cross lying on the table.

One of my favourite things in this room are the curtains and the bedcover.  These have been in storage for 12 years!  I made them for a little room we had in our first house.  I had completely forgotten I had made three curtains and it took some thinking to remember where the third one went - it was over the door as the door had glass panels to lighten up an otherwise very dark hallway.  This is perfect as the extra curtain works great as a bedcover over the top of the bedding so that does not get grubby from the children using the room to play their music.  We purchased the wooden curtain pole for £15.00, the lightshade from the Fairtrade Shop which is local to us for £10.00 and three cushions from the Range to give the bed that bit more of a comfy look.

This is my one real extravagance for the room, I saw it and just could not resist, it was not very expensive and I think it just adds that last little something to what has become a very peace filled room.

The extra advantage of making this room so cosy and peaceful is that it is always a place where I know I can always go and pray for my niece, feeling extra close to her, as it was the room where she laid her head for 2 whole years.

Designing and Creating on a Purchased T-shirt.

1. Take one fairtrade cotton white t-shirt from Marks and Spencers £6.00 for a pack of 3.
2. Purchase one tub of dye £2.99
3. Weigh t-shirt to find out if you can dye two at a time.

4.  Turns out I could so into the cold dye they go.

 

 5.  Once dying is finished, cut out some squares using old clothing, enough to spell the word you are going to do - I decided on AWESOME

6. Some letters I did with ribbon. and stitching.

7. Other letters, I used bond a web to cut out and stick some red fabric cut out letters which I then embroidered around.  The remaining ones I did using embroidery thread only.

 

8.  Choosing which way to put the letters took a bit of help from my hubby.

9. The final design chosen was a tick.  After bond-a-webbing the squares onto the t-shirt, I crossed stitched around the whole lot.

 

 10. I am pleased to report that my 11 year old son loved it when he received it for Christmas.

Renewing a Stained T-shirt.

I was really cross with myself the other week.  I put on a cream t-shirt and then went outside to do some gardening.  I know, I know, I didn't even notice the stain until I was doing my ironing after washing it.  I was not happy, there was no way it was going to come out.

You can see the mark in the centre at the bottom.  I was especially annoyed because it is a fairly new fairtrade t-shirt from Marks and Spencers.  So I put my thinking cap on and now have a much nicer t-shirt.

In fact I prefer my t-shirt now to when it was plain - hooray!

The fabric I used was from an old pair of linen trousers which had worn out.  I used bamboo buttons that used to be on my duvet cover until the holes started to grow and I had to replace the buttons.  I used 2 strands of embroidery silk for the central designs and one strand for the edge stitching.  I pinched the heart design from rhonda jean at Down to Earth, she has a free downloadable pattern for an embroidery I am still in the process of! Before doing the embroidery I ironed onto the squares some bondaweb, then embroidered, then ironed the squares onto the t-shirt before finishing with the buttons and edge stitching.  All in all it has taken me a couple of hours which I have done while playing scrabble on facebook!  How smug am I now feeling!  It has been quite good biblical teaching to me as well, as it does tell us in the bible:

Revelation 21: 1-5
And I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away and the sea was no more ... I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold the dwelling of God is with men ... He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall mourning nor crying, nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away... And he who sat upon the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new."

Doing something Different.

 Our Messy Church crafts and my Easter Cake.

For the last 4 months I have been off work after asking for 6 months unpaid leave.  That left us in a bit of a difficult place as I work for the church where we have been worshipping.  It is not a place that we really feel is 'home' as churches have in the past and therefore has made us feel quite liberated.  We have taken the opportunity to worship at a lot of different places, friends churches, old churches we have attended in the past, other local churches, which has been a good experience for us and the children I think.  We have also taken the opportunity to not doing any 'formal' worship on Sunday mornings, choosing to stay as a family and make our own 'church' for a half hour at home some times.

We attended a lovely 'Messy Church' at our local Methodist Church on Good Friday.  This was not particularly aimed at the age group of our children, however our eldest was running a small craft group and doing her first public 'puppet' show, so we all went to give her our support.

 our Motley crew how have we grown from 4 adult friends to 10?

Easter Saturday we met up with an old Christian buddy who I have not seen for 2 years we spent a wonderful day eating together, walking together, talking together (and later the men kids watched Dr Who giving me and Naomi a chance for a good girly chin wag).

Easter Sunday we had intended to try and go to the 6.30am Sunrise service in our near by town as the children have never experienced one of these.  However we got back very late from our friends on Saturday and made the agreement that if our puppy woke us up early we would go, if she didn't we wouldn't.  Low and behold for the first time in a very long time she did not wake up until 6.20 - too late for us to get to the service.  Instead we all stayed in bed until each one of us was ready to get up (in my case 10am - very unusual!).  When we had all wished each other a happy Easter morning and breakfasted my husband and I did a small easter egg hunt in the garden for the children.  As they are getting older and enjoy a little quiz, they all had to answer questions on the Easter story before they could go off and search for something!  This was great fun and the girls enjoyed it so much they did one for me later in the day!  My husband took the quiet opportunity to go and take some photos of the beautiful flowers in our garden, I spent some time looking over the budding and flowering garden and came across a butterfly I have never seen before.

After a light lunch of hot cross buns we met up with some friends (a work pal of my husbands and his wife and dog) and went for a walk on the beach near where they live.  This was very very liberating and gave me a chance to privately worship with the wind and the sunshine.

It is probably the first time I have ever really completely been bowled over by the concept of the Ressurection on easter Sunday.  That might sound so daft considering how many of these services I have been to.  However, for a good many years now I have usually been working in one form or another during the service with the children.  This has meant I have focused on different aspects of the Easter story - and never gone into any great mature depth of the Ressurection.  However, when I woke up I was thinking/dreaming about my late sister and I had the most distinct picture of her dancing with Jesus.  This is when it struck me, if it hadn't of been for what happened on that cross then my sister would not have been with Jesus - we would have stayed seperated from God - that is just the most unbearable thought.

We returned home happy, healthy and ready for a lovely meal together - a very enjoyable but very different Easter Sunday, the first since being a Christian when I haven't been to formal 'Church'.

174. Our beautiful home, our safe haven.
175. Friends who let time go and just enjoy the moments we do get together.
176. Nourishing food on our table.
177. God speaking to me through my own experience to deepen my understanding.
178. Children happy to go along with our flexible 'church' approach at the moment.
179. Fairtrade chocolate!
180. My eldest showing great maturity and self-constraint in conversation with her natural father.
181. My body, allowing me to walk, especially those knees.
182. The opportunity to go away on a Christian conference this week - Spring Harvest here we come.
183. Watching a film with a glass of wine in the evening.

Monday monday.

The business I have been involved in is good familyand health building business, but that does not make it any less tiring.   In fact on the health front it has made me very very tired,  I have now had a diagnosis of pes-anserine bursitis in both my knees, this pain unlike my oesteoarthritis in them can be treated - so I was immediately injected with painkillers and steriods right into the painful bursa - ouch!  I am not usually much of a baby when it comes to treatments but this made me yell out and then I had to have the other knee done!!!  I was told to expect them to feel worse for a few days before they started improving and by golly they have hurt!  However I am now starting to feel a little bit of relief creeping in so heres hoping and praying for lots more improvement to come.

We have also had a very turbulent weekend after our dear little puppy was attacked by a pit bull terrior on her first walk out last friday.  Fortunately she came off with just a bitten tail but has been very unsettled all weekend ( 3 nights of hardly any sleep!).  She was the most definately the fortunate one though as the dog attacked again about 10 minutes later and got another puppy which it threw around like a rag doll and almost killed.  So the children have experienced having the police come round to our house to take a statement, which has prompted a great deal of learning!

Pippin went back to the vet this morning and is doing fine, she is starting to eat properly again as well so hoping that her nights might settle down.  It is one of the many things which make me most definately search for a never ending attitude of gratitude.

128.  My wonderful spiritual director who encourages and nurtures me, so much love in an hour every few months.
129.  Finding and being able to afford to buy some fairtrade cotton yarn to make my daughter a lovely cardigan for her birthday.
130.  Protected Pippin from serious injury during the attack.
131.  The lovely walks and lovely folk with dogs we have met on our later walks.
132.  My continued weight loss, the last few weeks have been a lot slower but I am now only 2lbs off hitting my third of the way there target!
133.  A fabulous evening out with my hubby yesterday to see an amazing lecture/concert.
134.  A growing appreciation for the complexities and 'craft' of music making.
135.  The hospitality of friends.
136.  The offering of an olive branch.
137.  Friends who care.
138.  My GP writing to my consultant and getting my appoitment brought forward by a month.
139.  A consultant willing to take me on and take me seriously and seek the best way forward for me.
140.  An immediate reaction to the injections in my knees (even if it was bad!) as this indicates that it may well work very well.
141.  The growing circle of 'kinship' carers that I am meeting via facebook and blogging, discovering I am not alone in my circumstances makes a difference for me.

Ethical Brighton!

Last week after going to visit my dear friend Helen, we continued our journey south to go back to Brighton, on the south coast of England.  We stayed there back in September for a couple of nights and found the best vegetarian restaurant we have ever been to Terre a Terre .  So it was the thought of visiting this and knowing that I had also discovered some great fairtrade shops that we decided to go back.  I had time to prepare myself this time so spent a few hours surfing the net the day before we went, finding the Fair trade shops that I wanted to visit and marking them on a map so that I wouldn't forget where they were.

We arrived late, booked into the same hotel as before (we are such creatures of habit!).  Fortunately they had space we hadn't dared to book anything as the weather had been so unpredictable and there was still lots of snow on the ground.  After a quick freshen up and a cup of tea we made our way down to the restaurant.

We both had potato rosti's, mine with spinach and poached egg, my husbands with spicy halumi tika, this was washed down with a fine local West Sussex white wine.  We then treated ourselves to one of their yummy puddings.  I had a cheese cake that was accompanied with a lemon and rosemary sauce which was just divine, while my husband had something very very chocolaty.  My husband brought me their cookbook for my birthday at the end of last year and so I now feel re-inspired to get it out and get cooking.

After a very warm nights sleep (we could not cool the room down, even with the window open!), we went off for a days shopping map in hand.

First we went to Gossypium which is a shop I have brought from by mail order many a time, they do a superb selection of fairtrade fabrics.  It was lovely to browse, I was interested to see if they had any sale items as they are usually a little bit pricy.  Unfortunately the only bargain I found didn't fit, but I enjoyed the looking.

There are lots of little gift shops in The Lanes, many of which stock fairtrade products, so I enjoyed having a little look around these.

We then walked up Bond Street in the North Laines area.  Here we visited a small gift shop called Evolution, they are almost all fairtrade, and we managed to pick up 3 lap trays for the children that were a little damaged but had their prices cut from £10 each to £2.00 each.  So we got those!  I loved looking at all their FT jewelry, but resisted it knowing I was going to the bead shop.

We passed another shop that I noticed had clothing by Nomads on a rail outside.  So I went inside.... there I found right at the back a whole rail of sale items and managed to pick myself up a lovely white long sleeved shirt (my husband loves me wearing white) for £15.  Another succesful purchase.

From here we went to my very favourite shop Infinity Foods for an organic ethical vegetarian you just cannot get any better.  Here we stocked up on lots of house hold items, chocolate shampoo, seaweed shampoo, lavender bath soak, Weleda rose cleansing lotion, replaceable head toothbrushes for my youngest - we got these last time we came and were very very impressed. We then went into the food section and brought some Vegan Worcestershire sauce, which I didn't know existed, the normal variety, used alot in sauces has fish in it.

We were now laden down with 'stuff', so my husband offered to take it all back to the car while I went on the a bead shop that I wanted to visit.  I eventually found it and spent 20 minutes in my heaven!  I was very restrained, I just picked up a few bits, jewelry fastners, earing hoops and a few packets of seed beeds in colours I had never seen before.  This restraint cost me £6.50, and I have enough 'bits' to keep me going for quite some time, so watch out for some more making.

We then went into Costa Coffee for a lovely fairtrade Late, shared a sandwich and lovely crunchy granola bar.  After a much needed sit down and rest we had a little wonder around the book shop we were in, I managed to find 'The Secret Life of Bees' by Sue Monk Kidd for my mum, I read this several years ago and thought so many bits reasonated with my mums growing up years that she would really enjoy it.  This made the perfect little gift to give her for looking after the children for us.

There was not much energy left in me after this, my husband on his way back from dropping the goodies at the car had managed to find a second hand copy of a jazz cd which had lots of clarinet playing on it - so he got this for our eldest (who has been asked to join the school jazz band).  He had also passed a second hand book stall and saw copies of the original Dr Who books, so he purchased one of these for our son.

I just had a couple of shops left on my list, on the way to one we passed a small tucked away shop called Fair Play, they did not have a huge collection, they had some People Tree clothing and lots of gifty bits.  What did catch my eye was bedding.  This is something we were looking out for for our bedroom, they had some gorgeous sets, but didn't have the one I liked best in King size which we needed.  I got talking to the sales lady who gave me the details of where they purchased them from.  This is the set from   Fairly covered that we are going to order.  It goes just perfectly with the husky pink and deep ruby reds we have in our bedroom.

There was just one shop left on my list but I knew that would be a car ride to make, so we went back to the car and headed off.  Kolkata has some very unique fairtrade clothing and gifts.  What I did find here that I have found no where else is fairtrade wools and cottons for knitting with.  We got a small hair band for my youngest, so that they all had a little gift, and headed home.  We were just commenting on how lovely it had been to spend so much time shopping in our kind of shops when I noticed a huge Co-operative Supermarket shop.  This store is a big favourite as they sell lots of fairtrade produce and we also use them for their ethical banking and insurance.  I remembered that I had a cheque in my purse that needed to be paid in so we pulled the car into the car park and my husband whisked the cheque in.

This made me realise, that if I had to move anywhere in the UK then Brighton would probably be my choice, just because it seems to so support the life style that we have chosen to live.  Moving is not something that I particularly want or would like to do, so for now,  I shall just treasure a lovely time away with my husband, chatting, shopping and eating.  I shall also continue to pray that the area of Hampshire in which we live might be transformed into a similar ethical living style one day.

It was fab to get home and discover there had been no upsets, the eldest went off to her Church run Youth Group, the younger ones went off to bed and we settled down to a nice treat of an Indian takeaway with my mum and dad before heading off for an early night in our own, cosy bed.  Perfect.

Ethical and Environmental Living.

I talking to a friend yesterday about Christmas cards, yes, I know far to early to be even considering this! What we were actually discussing is how we felt about receiving non-charity Christmas cards. My friend was expressing her surprise at how many non-charity Christmas cards she received last year, and how hard she was finding it anticipating the same thing happening again this year, but just not knowing how/if there was anything she could do about it.

About two years ago I stopped buying clothing or goods where I could acquire such items either locally, organically or where the goods were fair trade. This has had several significant impacts:

1. I no longer get the desire to go out on big spending sprees - on line shopping never has quite the same 'comfort' as physically going to the shops.
2. Because my choices are limited (especially with regards to clothing) I only try and find things when stuff either wears out or a new need is identified.
3. Though I have to pay more (generally) for items of clothing, I am quite sure I am actually saving money because of points 1 and 2!
4. My children and husband are totally behind the whole project, and are getting very adept at finding 'fair trade' labels!
5. Despite many disparaging comments from folks saying that the whole 'fair trade and organic' thing is a 'fad' - I am absolutely delighted to see Cadburys carry out their pledge to make their dairy milk chocolate fair trade this autumn. (We did write to them asking them to do it!).
6. I never have to put on my clothing and think 'was a child forced to pick the cotton for this instead of getting an education'.

Going back to the Christmas cards, I have made my own cards for the last 10 years, it is something I really enjoy doing, I have tried to encourage my children to only use charity cards when they want to send them. I do believe that we should not be too 'scared' of upsetting people by letting them know how we stand on ethical and environmental issues. However my experience has now shown that as with many things (especially my faith) the best way of attracting other folks to causes that you support is to set an example that is true and honest.