All Change.

So I mentioned in my last post that I had made a big decision.  It is something that has been rumbling away for a few months now.  As my regular readers may know I have a condition called rheumatoid arthritis.  It is a condition that is always just there.  I'm fortunate enough to have great medication which has kept it reasonably stable for about 3 years now.  However, as well as aching joints always just there and preventing me from doing anything too active, the biggest effect it has on me is fatigue.

I will have had this condition for 16 years come this autumn.  It arrived 6 months after I got married (it's our 16th wedding anniversary tomorrow).  I don't very often think about what life was like before hand, that is one thing that can really bring me down.  Suffice it to say, I was very active, I used to run several times a week, go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week, walk and swim, just to name just a few acitivies.  In fact just weeks before I first became unwell my husband and I brought our first ever mountain bikes.

As well as having this condition I have also had 4 years of enormous stress.  This started with my sister suddenly dying, then becoming a kinship carer for her only almost teenage daughter.  After two years of constant anxiety while we tried to care for an extremely damaged child along with our two younger children we had to make the decision to hand her over to local authority care.  Then my father died, then my mother had a mental breakdown and spent 3 months in hospital, then my grandmother died in January this year.

Amazingly my arthritis has not got much worse during this time however the fatigue has.  For the last 4 and a quarter years I have been working my 20 hours a week as a children and youth Pastor for our local parish (2 churches).  I did take some time out to have knee operations 3 years ago and also 6 months unpaid leave to help with my recovery and the changes to home life with my niece living with us.  The parish I work for has been amazingly supportive, through much of the times of great stress (eg, my mum in hospital) work has been my escape.  It is something I felt called to do almost 10 years ago.  It started in a voluntary capacity for the parish where we live and after a short period of working for the local council when I decided to go back into paid employment I was offered the current parish in a neighbouring parish.

It has not been all plain sailing in the post, it has had plenty of challenges, however it has always felt like a Gift from God and I have always tried to treat it as such.  For the last few months however I have been having to come home from work and go to bed for several hours every day as my fatigue has increased.  Whether it is pain that increases and causes the fatigue or the fatigue that makes me more aware of the joint pain I have I don't know, but my joints are presently very very sore.  My breathing has become poor as my fitness levels are falling.

Being away on holiday in Orlando, Florida was great, what was not so great was the fact that I had to use a wheelchair for all the days out that we did because of the pain and fatigue my body has.  God has been speaking to me.  I finished 8 months of counselling last month, during that time I have been learning how to listen to myself without the critical voices that roam around me head interfering.  This has also enabled me to listen more carefully to God.

I am currently on sick leave from work and last week I finally realised it was time to stop working.  I know that if I don't have a go at getting fitter and loosing some weight now as I amble towards my mid forties, it is only going to get harder.  I might manage to loose weight and get fitter and still be in as much pain and suffering the same fatigue, but if I don't try then I will never know.  The way things are heading at the moment I feel I am going to end up spending more and more time using a wheelchair, if there is anything I can do to prevent this I have to give it a go.

So last week I had my resignation accepted, they have very kindly wavered my 3 month leave period due to my current health issues and so I will finish at the end of May.

The only problem I am now left with is how we are going to manage financially.  My work did not pay all that well, but it did pay for all the little extras we have come to enjoy.  The occasional spontaneous meals out, spending money on our holidays, buying extra things for the home, garden and the children without having to save up - all these things and probably a lot more are where my wage was spent.  Giving these up, and learning how to live on our reduced income is going to be a challenge, thankfully I do feel that God is with us.

So it's all change, on the whole I feel quite excited to see where God is going to take us and this new journey.  Hopefully it will include keeping on blogging :o).

Monday Grattitude.

I might not have been writing down my blessings on a Monday, but this is becoming such a way of life since I started counting with Ann Voskamp (press the link at the bottom of this post).  I would still very much like to get to 1000 though!

730.  Internet shopping for the few bits that I need avoiding going to the shops and seeing things that I don't need.

731.  Chatty phone calls with my niece.

732.  A job that allows me to get over my jet lag with flexible hours.

733.  A nice tidy desk ready for a new term.

734.  Several crochet projects on the go at once.

735.  Pinterest - I'm loving all the ideas it is generating in my head.

736.  Stag Antlers!  A cheap, environmentally/animal friendly dog chew which my puppy dog adores and is going to save me A LOT of money on not giving her a daily chew that she consumes quicker and quicker when we leave her.

737.  Giggling girls eating together in a restaurant.

738.  Snuggling in bed with my duvet after the heat of our holiday.

739.  Facebook scrabble - I missed you!

When Life gets too busy.

I have just been too busy the last month or so.  So busy in fact that it took me having a week off work and spending good quality time with friends to make me realise just how busy life has been in the last 3 years.  My last post was all about friendships, and I seem to have done nothing but run into story after story, blog after blog about this topic since then.  I am now trying to tackle this, it will no doubt take a little time, it may mean big changes to my working life.  However I am quite sure that if I am following the path that I believe God is leading me down then all will be well,  I just have to be patient.   Praise God!

More blessings for a Monday.

710.  Fabulous childrens Lent activity morning - I love my job!

 711.  Beauty in the hot house.

 712. Drifts of snowdrops.

 713. A small moment amongst tall trees.

 714.  Beauty even amongst that which is decomposing.

 715.  Happy dog.

 716.  A quiet moment with my friend.

 717.  Breathtaking skys.

 718.  Memory making moments.

 719.  Another crochet pot completed for a birthday girl.

Gratitude.

I have been working abroad this weekend - doesn't that sound grand!  I was asked to go and do a children's group (with my hubby) for the Armed Forces Christian Union who were having a ladies weekend for military women and wives.  I was asked back in the summer and despite all recent events really felt the need to go and do this.  We were at Church House in Lubbeckke in Germany.  The sleeping accommodation was typical forces, though the building was old and had a very interesting history.  The food on the other hand was amazing, 3 cooked meals a day available, all eaten in a room designed by a naval architect, who had managed to make you feel as though you were in a ship!  Every morsel eaten with silver cutlery and deserts out of silver bowls - what decadence!  It turned out that there were only 5 children registered to come along and when we arrived this had shrunk to 4, a set of 8 year old twins and a 9 year old with a 4 year old sister.  Because of the number it was a very demanding time however meeting lots of lovely Christian ladies and spending good quality time with my husband was great. 

It was hard work to get out of bed this morning to get on with my real life jobs, at work and home, but continue with gratitude I will:

660. Central heating.
661. Sparkling stars on clear nights.
662. Happy children and therefore happy mums.
663. The opportunity to plant (spiritual) seeds.
664. The opportunity to water (spiritual) seedlings.
665. Watching children playing hide and seek.
666. Feeling Gods Spirit moving in and around me.
667. A lift to the airport.
668. Listening ears.
669. Sitting drinking coffee watching the world go by.

Admiring the View

In my job as a children and youth pastor I occasionally get to do a little something out of the ordinary.  Last year I was asked by our Diocese to plan a 20 minute workshop for their revamped confirmation celebration service at Winchester Cathedral.  It went down really well and I have been asked back again this year.  I initially said yes, thinking I would probably be able to just tweak what I did last year.  However when I met up with the organiser this week there is a whole different theme.  Once again however God knows the path before me.

The theme of the service is 'journeys' and the title of my area is going to be 'Admiring the View'.  Yet again my week started off not great with anxiety about what was happening with my niece.  As soon as I was told this ideas started to pop into my head and great conversation followed.  I was so relieved not to have been given the topic of being in a dark place!

I love it when my creativity starts to flow! I came out of that working lunch meeting totally bouyed up only to discover a parking ticket on my car.  I got home to more unwelcome news.  Then there was a moment when I suddenly remembered lunch time - that was a moment on my journey through that day when I was 'admiring the view'.  I find it so easy to forget the moments of respite that I get, and yet in reality I probably have as many of those moments as I do the hard times.

I'm pleased to say that as I am having to creatively think about this topic for work purposes, it is making me continually look out for those moments in my week when I can 'admire the view'.

There was the lovely dog walk that I had yesterday, I had over stretched myself with how far I had gone so took some time to sit at a lake 10 minutes walk from home.  Once the dog had got over her confusion as to why I had stopped, it was a fantastic 15 minutes of peace.  I got to watch a heron swimming, I was thinking how unusual it was to see one swimming and not standing at the edge where he normally is.  After about 10 minutes however he quickly dived into the lilly pads next to him and came up with something very orange in his beak, before flying off to an out of site corner.  An experience I certainly do not have every day (though as a veggie I did feel very sorry for the fish!).

What 'views' do you get to stop and admire on the journeys in life that you are making? How do you feel when you do stop?  Are you ever tempted to try and stop your journey to stay at that place of admiring?  It would be great to have your thoughts dear readers as I try and work out how I can use this topic to help those at the confirmation celebration service.

Busy at Work

I have been having a very enjoyable and busy week at work this week, the majority of my 20 hours have already been filled already, I have a meeting tonight and again on Friday, tomorrow however is going to be my full day of rest, hubby is off work as well so hopefully we will get to do something fun together.

If you are interested in more of what I do as a 'day job' do come and visit my work blog Life of a Children and Youth Pastor  - it would be great to see you over there x x x x

Despite misgivings.

Despite many misgivings, our Easter break turned out to be okay - even quite fun in parts :o).  It started off with our trip to Spring Harvest which I talked about in my last post.  We then had a nice day at the beach and then onto friends for supper together last Tuesday

Then on Thursday my parents arrived for an Easter holiday stay with us.  We also had friends come over who we got to go out for a meal with while my parents sat for the children - this was the first time we had had this particular foursome in an evening for over 11 years!  It was made particularly special by the fact that we could walk to a very fine Thai restaurant.

Friday I was working in the morning doing the family service for Good Friday which I took the children to, while hubby was at work and my parents stayed home to do some weeding in my garden for me.  That evening we treated ourselves to another meal out this time into the New Forest at another favourite pub restaurant with all the family, that was lots of fun especially as we found a pack of cards to play pontoon with while we waited for our food.  We then had a little amble to walk off our fine meal

Saturday we had a lazy day around at home and of course Sunday was Easter Sunday, I took almost 40 children out to do their own activities for an hour in the service.  It was also very special as my two youngest took Holy Communion for the first time as well.

What a Week.

This week has just been so unpredictable, I really don't know whether I am coming or going.  Last weekend was busy. Monday I felt terrible and ended up in bed all day with a low grade migraine.  As my husband was at work, I got up to unlock the doors so that the children could come in from school.  After telling them I needed to go back to bed, they were really supportive.  My son agreed to cook pasta for the 3 of them to have tea, the oldest two agreed to walk the youngest to her gym lesson, 10 minutes walk from home.  I agreed to get up in order to take the older two to their club and to pick up the youngest.  On returning home it was straight back to bed and husband was home to do the final collection of children.

Tuesday saw the arrival of new double glazing!  We have had two houses of our own since getting married, in both we had one or two windows replaced, but never the whole lot.  My husband was left some money which we decided would be best used to get the double glazing done.  I still didn't feel great and so didn't want to go into the office to work as it is very small and stuffy and there are usually at least two others trying to work in there who I didn't want to pass my germs onto.  So I wrapped up warm and worked from the living room, the only room not being touched on that day while the workman drilled and bashed around the rest of the house.

I was very impressed with how quickly they worked, they came back on Wednesday to do the patio doors, back door and bay window.  By 3pm on Wednesday they were all done!  My wonderful hubby did all the cleaning up after they had been and today I have managed with his help to get a new curtain rail up in the bay window and the curtains re hung.  On top of this I have managed to clock in about 26 hours of  'work' including two evening meetings.  I am now sat on the sofa, contemplating the fact that another weekend has come to be - how did that happen?  Fortunately other than the normal chores and running a service at church on Sunday morning, there is not much else that needs to be done - maybe I might be able to craft and rest a little?

My work blog

I wrote this blog over on my work blogsite yesterday.  It is all about my experience of Church while I was in Boston in America.

When God Moves You on.

The trauma that we have faced as a family the last couple of years since my sister died, has totally eclipsed what had been happening the previous couple of years.  I have been reminded of these events this week and wondered if blogging about it might help me to see if there is any clarity on an issue which was deeply wounding and painful when it happened.

When we were first house hunting in the south of England back in 2002 we had a huge area to choose from.  We marked places in an AtoZ that looked nice where there were reasonable looking schools and churches.  When we first pulled into where we now call home it was the school and the church that we found before we found our house.  In fact we could not afford the houses that were in this area, they were all at least £10,000 more than what we were budgeting and it would have meant accepting something smaller than we had already.  Then we were shown the house that is now our home.  It needed a lot of updating and had been on the market for over a year and the sellers were desperate to sell.  Because of this we were able to strike a very good deal and got the house!  The way all this happened made us feel very secure that God was in control.  There were just far to many co-incidences for it to be anything but the RIGHT way to go.

We settled very quickly, threw ourselves into our local community including the church and made some friends that I pray will be friends for life.  There were things that were not great, we often felt very unsupported by the leadership at the church, though they were always very willing for us to come up with ideas and let us get on with them.  This is where my ministry for children began to grow, I was soon co-ordinating all the children's work, from the creche to Junior Church, holiday clubs, craft groups and special services.  I loved it all, there were times when I was brought up short - where I felt my ministry was far more important than anything else (including my husband and children - silly girl that I was).  However this ministry grew and we really enjoyed doing things like the Holiday Clubs together.

I began to feel that it was turning into something more than a volunteer should be doing.  I spoke with some very wise Christians who supported this growing feeling that I had.  I was very aware that I was going to have to go back to paid employment at some point and yet felt terrible at the thought of having to stop all the ministry that I was involved in and could not identify anybody/people to take on some of the roles.   I spoke with our minister about this and he encouraged me to write a report for the church council.

In good faith this is what I did, putting forward a suggestion that they might want to start thinking about whether it would be appropriate to employ someone in the post I had been doing (not necessarily me!).  This was where everything started to fall apart.  The church wardens wrote to me suggesting that I leave my role and that they would not be bringing forward the suggestion to the church council that a paid position should be considered.  I was completely floored by this.  I had expected to perhaps need to have a conversation with them to clarify what was in the report, so this came as a total shock.  I felt accused of trying to make a job for myself and was dumbfounded by having people refuse to discuss things with me.

In a very short space of time I found myself forced to hand in my resignation, we also lost the worshipping community that we had belonged to and had to leave our and our children's friends behind.  We did try a few times to go back, however bad feeling remained and we did not feel at all welcome by certain folk.  Work wise I very quickly found paid employment with the our local council, working with children under 5 with special needs.  It was a maternity cover post so I knew it would most likely end after 9 months, but it was perfect hours and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

.

I was once told by a very wise minister that the best 'ministries' you could be involved in were those that you could set up and then leave without them falling apart.  I am happy to see that the two ministries that I set up from scratch for younger children in our previous parish are still going, 4 years after me leaving them.  Others that I had been involved in (though not set up) have shrunk.  I still do not fully understand why all that happened did happen.

I did go to a workshop recently where we discussed where Jesus sometimes trod softly when things needed to change and sometimes strode in boldly.  Is this what we were being asked to do?  Or did we in our own strength go in with size 10 shoes on when ballet shoes were required?  I am quite content now to leave the wrestling over this alone.  Our family life requires this.  Do I mourn for our old church and the old job - yes - especially at times like Christmas and every time we have to get in the car to go to our present one.  I can even still have times of great regret, however I do still feel God is with me and with the work that I do and so I have to be content that I am where he wants me to be.

Advent Adventures

Come and see how my Advent Adventures activity morning worked

New work blog.

I recently restarted my work blog which had been neglected for about a year here on blogger.  However I have been having a niggling feeling about it for a while.  I am very careful about how I advertise this blog because I have never intended it to be for the eyes of all those closest to me.  In fact it has been a place that I have been able to retreat to.  I also have never wanted to overtly put any restrictions on who can view this blog, if people happen upon it, then I am happy for that to happen, this is how it helps me to keep myself accountable for my thoughts.  However my work blog I have always wanted to be able to shout about - when I have done something that has worked well then I want to tell others,  I have learnt so much and gained so much from other people doing this I wanted to be able to share to.  Up until now however I have not felt able to because of the link to this more personal blog.  Then suddenly the other night the solution appeared - use a different place to start a new work one!

If you are at all interested in what a children and youth pastor might be getting up to then please feel free to come and visit me at


http://lifeofacypastor.wordpress.com

I do intend to carry on blogging here as well, but will try and keep it non-work related! 

xxx.

A Little Catch-Up.

Time runs doesn't stop.

6 months have rushed away.

Much has been achieved both practically and in relationships.

There is a life-time of work to continue, but continue we shall.

In the meantime I am going to try and add a little extra by returning to work.

Just 10 hours a week for the next 3 months.  Then hopefully back to 20 hours come September. 

Wild Flower Walk.

Today I got the opportunity to go for a lovely walk with my puppy and my husband.  Having my husband along gave me the extra bonus of being able to get some lovely photographs.  We decided to go to a place called Pepperbox Hill, 5 miles from Salisbury city centre - you can see the cathedral in the picture above.  It was about a 35 minute drive from home, a place my husband had noticed as we had driven by on many occassions but a place at which we had never stopped at before.  It is land that is looked after by the National Trust, though their website says nothing about it, there is a small car park from which walk paths are marked.  There is a sort of 'folly' building at the top of the hill which a sign told us was built so that the land owner could see what his neighbours were up to!

The walk turned into a wild flower delight, these are what we saw

violets

I think this might be a type of Bugle?

Bluebells

wild garlic

not sure what these are??

possibly Toothwort??

 cowslips

As you can see I am not very good at identifying my wildflowers - note to self - get a good book!  It was not a long walk but it was extreemly enjoyable and a good bit of exercise.  I can't believe that I am 5 months into my 6 months off work - I do feel quite pleased with what I have achieved, to be able to take a couple of hours out to go on a walk to look at wild flowers makes me feel I must be reasonably relaxed.  Long may that continue!

Resting

This week is hopefully the last of my official sick leave. I have been off for almost 4 months, that's the longest I have ever had to take off in all my working life. It has been a roller coaster of emotional experiences. From out right relief at having the excuse to focus on my health and my family and that is it. To fear of the future, our finances and feeling trapped with no escape.



It has been very timely to find that Ann Voskamp on her blog Holy Experience has been talking about Resting. This has been another part of my emotional roller coaster in the last few months. The bottom line is I find it incredibly hard to do. I constantly give myself other things to concentrate on, even if that is just silly facebook games (though these have occasionally been a life saver). So this week with gentle reminders from Ann I am taking time to properly rest. I am spending time with God, not constantly wondering what he wants me to do - he gave me a plan last week for returning to work.



This afternoon I took a gentle walk with my husband, we didn't chat about anything in particular but just enjoyed a bit of time holding each others hands and looking at shades of Autumn all around us. This is the sort of resting I am having with God, not constantly chattering or straining to hear, just being with Him, taking time to notice the things He has made and marvel at the seasonal changes He gifted to us.



Returning to work is going to take another period of adjustment - I have no idea how well I am going to do back at work but I do know that it will undoubtedly take a lot of my energy. I am also coming up to the anniversary of my sisters death on November 27th 2008. Work, I am hoping might be a good distraction through this time. Memories and reminders are still so incredibly painful.



For my dear friends who have helped and supported me through this time off I am very grateful. There are many folks who I have not had much (if any) contact with. There are a variety of reasons for this, but I know that those who still consider me a friend will respect the quietness of my friendship at the moment.

Listening to God

Have you heard the story about the Christian man whose boat capsizes in the middle of the ocean? He's all alone and starts praying to God to help him survive this catastrophe. A man in another boat comes by and offers to help him out and is surprised by the response he gets - "no thanks it's okay God is going to help me". A helicopter flies over with a winch man offering to help, again he is surprised by the response he gets - "no thanks it's okay God is going to help me". Eventually he drowns and when he gets to Heaven he asks God why he didn't help him - God responded - "I sent you a boat and you refused its help, I sent you a helicopter and you refused help - so here you are".

So why is this story on my mind today - I had a terrible nights sleep because I feel a bit like the man in the sea.

At work I have been trying to organize a holiday club for the end of July. This holiday club has been an uphill struggle since I started working for the church some 18 months ago. I am now looking at two lifelines that have been sent this week and wondering if they are from God and if so - I should be hanging on to them:

1. After having my knees operated on last Monday, I have been signed off work for 6 weeks and told not to drive for at least 4 weeks. This takes me past the date of the holiday club.
2. Yesterday our Child Protection Officer informed me that I couldn't use 9 of my volunteers as they have not got up to date CRB forms completed for our church.

I hate giving in and not being able to complete projects and so feel in complete turmoil. I have been feeling very low about work for some time. We have got so much going off at home that the thought of being able to concentrate on home things and getting fit for the next 6 weeks is far more appealing than struggling to do a holiday club which will not be the best I could do and may lead to me ruining my knees again.

So I am waiting and listening and trusting on the discernment of others to help me make the decision as to whether I pull out completely from this holiday club. It's a hard thing to do, very hard.

The Good Shepherd

Been blogging over on my other side today http://lifeofacyp.blogspot.com/ for those that are interested in my work stuff!

Starting Something New

I have so enjoyed this journey that I started in January with my blog. When life seems to be constantly throwing lemons at you, there is nothing like looking back at all the blessings you have been given as well. It has not only been an enjoyment that I have experienced, I also feel as though I have grown inches! Maybe I have off loaded burdens that have been weighing my shoulders down? I have seen this reflected in many areas of my life, particularly my work life and my family life.

After an action packed 40 years I think I had quite lost sight of who I was. I think we do get totally embroiled in daily activities and roles sometimes to the detriment of caring for our spirit. Having said that I am not sure that there is anything we can do to change this, except that I know that Jesus is the only answer.

We are fallen people, tainted by sin, unless we are willing to accept this daily and accept Jesus as the only one who has and continually redeems us (when we ask for it), we choose to stay as fallen people, without purpose and completely self consumed.

So in the midst of the muck that I seem to be continually wading through in my life, I will continue to count my blessings, I will continue to Praise God for the many talents he has given me. I will continue to try and find me but hopefully will also be looking for the me in Christ more and more. (And don't worry - the life story isn't finished yet - I am still alive!).

I have also decided to try and share some of the creativity that I feel God has given me in my work as a children and youth Pastor. Therefore you may find on my profile a new blog that I have started, The Life of A Children and Youth Pastor, hopefully I will be able to use this to share more of my work life, which I love with great passion. So if you are interested please take a look!

Local Worshipping Church Communities.

Okay, tangent day today. I have just had a very interesting conversation with our curate this morning. Do you ever have those conversations where you suddenly feel God speaking out your mouth? (Well at least, I am praying it was God and not me!). We had been at a church council meeting together last night where we were particularly focusing on finance.

We belong to a reasonably well off church, if things are wanted to be done, the church community usually rallies and is able to ensure that things get done. However we have a majority elderly congregation. This means that it is a diminishing community as the elderly do have that unreasonable habit of going to meet their maker!

So we wrangle.......... we have an elderly congregation who find changing their worship style difficult to contemplate, however this leaves us with an ever diminishing number of folks worshipping with us. On the other hand we live in an area that has a very varied age demographic where there are a lot of young Christian families going to younger charismatic Churches in the two cities, 8 miles either side of us.

Now it has to be said that before my husband and I had children we would take a 6 mile car ride to worship at the more charismatic young church that we preferred to worship in. However we did make the conscious decision when we moved North to ensure that we moved to an area where we would be happy worshipping in our most local church. We therefore put aside our personal worship style preference to concentrate more fully on belonging to one church and community. We did not go blindly into this, when looking at areas to live we did consider and visit all the community facilities including the church. When we moved back South, we did the same thing again. In fact it has to be said that the first time we visited the area we presently live we arrived on a Sunday morning, heard a trombone in the worship as we parked the car and decided this is where we wanted to live! We then had to spend more money that we had intended on our home as they were all a little out of our league - Praise God - he works in mysterious ways!

Now having said all that, we have now left the church that is a 5 minute walk from our back gate. Not because we particularly wanted to but as we felt God calling us to our neighbouring parish - which is 20 minutes walk away. So I do feel a little awkward writing this as I do feel a little fraudulent - I do not live in my present church community.

What I felt God saying to me and our Curate this morning was that he is going to call back the young families in our area to worship in their local communities. That got us thinking. If people did this there would be several benefits:

1. The environment will benefit if people are able to walk to their church.
2. If people walk they will save money which they could put back into their local churches.
3. Those of us struggling to get our worship style more varied to take into account a broader age range in our communities will be better supported in numbers and therefore will be a visible force to encourage change.

Now I know that this is a bit of an 'ideal' outcome, however it has given me a new umph to get on and pray for more Local Worshipping Church Communities - it just seems to make so much more sense. I realise that for many this would mean forgoing the comfort and feeding that they feel they receive by travelling to other churches. However is the church only there for our benefit - I do not think so.

Father God if this is your desire, please use me to enable this to happen.

From the First to the Second.

Our First Home after we got married.

I thought today a little more reminiscing was required by me for me! I last wrote about getting to the point in life where I got pregnant. This was early Spring 1999. At this time both my husband and I felt the prompting to do another great change. We both agreed that ideally I should stop working when I had my first baby. The problem with this was that we could not imagine being able to manage on one wage, living in outer London. So tentative enquiries were made to see if there were any jobs available for my husband back in his home-town of Outer Manchester. My family were in the Midlands and my husbands mum and dad were still living (in separate places) near where he had grown up.

The long and short of the enquiries was that a job came up, he got it and therefore we were going to make a 200 mile move! I will never forget the day we left our first home, neither of us could talk, neither of us wanted to go, I don't even remember closing the front door, though I do remember handing the keys in to the estate agent. We felt as though we had made a big mistake. I was six months pregnant, just left a job I loved, moving to an area where I knew very few people - to a house I had only seen once.

My faithful Father in Heaven though, provided lots of lovely god-incidences to reassure us that we had done the right thing. When I look back on this time now, I no without any shadow of doubt that we were in the right place at the right time, even if the events that unfolded were not all very good ones!

By far the most precious god-incidence that occurred was when we went to church in our new village. We had prior to moving already signed ourselves up for some National Childbirth Trust Ante-natal classes - we had actually signed up in two areas, not knowing exactly where we might end up living! We went to church that first time only to discover that our ante-natal teacher was a member of the church and in fact lived 2 minutes walk around the corner from us! Sue immediately became a great friend. So much so that by the time I had my second child, she was a birthing partner along with my husband and became my daughters God-mother.

Our Second Home with me (six months pregnant) and my gorgeous husband.