Through the Eyes of my daughter.

My 11 year old daughter has had the camera out, these pictures of hers capture some real blessings.

 690. A walk with my family.

 691. The rotten stuff in our lives being washed away.

 692.  Love that knows no boundaries.

 693.  Sunshine.

 694.  Long legged shadows.

 695.  My secure fortress.

 696.  My rock.

 697.  Blue sky and green grass.

 698.  Sea spray on our faces.

 699.  The eyes that saw it all.

Home Produce

Can it really be Monday again all ready!  I managed to get out in the garden last week for the first time in a very very long time.  My vegetable patch was completely overgrown with pumpkin vines crawling their way across the paved areas.  It was very very pleasing to discover on cutting it all back that we did actually have pumpkins and some cucumbers as well - I had presumed those plants had been suffocated by the pumpkin plants!  Once again my gardening plans have been thwarted somewhat by the goings on at home, never mind, there is still things to enjoy for now and there are always next years plans :o)

Continuing to count my blessings with Ann Voskamp.

640. Pumpkins growing in the garden, small but perfectly formed.

 641. A basket of prodice to take into the kitchen and enjoy.

 642.  Views to admire.

 643.  An abundance of pink in the garden.

 643.  Beautiful scents still rising in the evening.

 644.  Strawberries - for the second time this year.

 645.  Happy children getting out and about with the daddy, what ever the weather.

 646.  The joy of an obediant (most of the time) puppy dog.

647. Watching a storm passing by the front of our house.

648.  The beauty of art from centuries ago.

 649. Seeing how nature reclaims the land.

Why not start your own list.

Letting go of ideals.

After all the ups and downs of the last few weeks my Niece A has been readmitted to a secure psychiatric adolescent unit.  Not before she ended up in police custody for a couple of days.  She didn't commit a crime but would not return to the childrens home where she had been placed.  At one point social services were talking about putting her into a secure unit (the sort of place they can put under 16's who keep absconding or are waiting for court hearings).  They could do that for 72 hours before having to apply to court to keep her longer.  5pm on a Friday evening is not the best time to be told you need to get a solicitor involved before a court hearing at 11.30 on a Monday morning.  At least that has now all been avoided.

So what is my part in all this.  My natural instinct was to get straight in the car and go to the police station where she was.  At least once she was deemed to not be able to make clear judgements by herself social services could tell me where she was.  However I did manage to phone the station first, they asked her if she would see me and she said no.

As my parents still have a residence order for her I felt it only proper to let them know what has been going on.  My mum as I assumed might happen has not taken it well.

Once again I am left trying to work out what my role is.  I can't imagine I am ever going to be able to pretend she doesn't exist, that would feel like a complete betrayel to my sister (A's deceased mothers).  Though I also know that I cannot continue tying myself in knots fighting her corner when she does not want me to.  All the authorities involved with her seem to have made such a hash of things, it makes me want to shout and complain to the managers, my MP and anyone else who will listen.  What would that achieve for A though?  The chances are that even if things had been done 'properly' she still might be in the situation she is in now.

Then of course I hear the 'good citizen' voice inside my head saying that if I step in, it might make a difference to the way other people are treated.  At a time when my general health is not great, my mental health is not great and my own two children and husband need me, I think the answer to whether I step in or not is no.  I am quite sure that my mind is going to sway backwards and forwards with all this, at the moment though that 'peace that passes all understanding'(Phillipians 4:7) has descended.  I still feel quite subdued but peaceful and long may that last.

Why the picture of the cemetry?  My hubby and I went a walk for him to show it to me yesterday as it is just on the edge of Southampton City Centre, it is a fascinating place that you can read a little about here .  It has such an over grown and gothic look to it and is sooo huge.  We spent a good while taking pictures, reading the odd grave stone and just marvelling at how nature is trying to reclaim the land.  It made me realise something.  I don't like modern cemetries, but certainly over  100 years ago (and 100's more) when this cemetry was being used used, it had a purpose to reunite the bodies of families.  I love this idea!  Somehow it brings a real comforting feeling.  However in our present time it has become apparant that graves are not a sustainable way of disposing of bodies.  We just no longer have the space in our little country.  Therefore it was a reminder to me that sometimes we just have to let go of our ideals.  Find other ways to function.  Have you had to let go of any ideals?

Admiring the View

In my job as a children and youth pastor I occasionally get to do a little something out of the ordinary.  Last year I was asked by our Diocese to plan a 20 minute workshop for their revamped confirmation celebration service at Winchester Cathedral.  It went down really well and I have been asked back again this year.  I initially said yes, thinking I would probably be able to just tweak what I did last year.  However when I met up with the organiser this week there is a whole different theme.  Once again however God knows the path before me.

The theme of the service is 'journeys' and the title of my area is going to be 'Admiring the View'.  Yet again my week started off not great with anxiety about what was happening with my niece.  As soon as I was told this ideas started to pop into my head and great conversation followed.  I was so relieved not to have been given the topic of being in a dark place!

I love it when my creativity starts to flow! I came out of that working lunch meeting totally bouyed up only to discover a parking ticket on my car.  I got home to more unwelcome news.  Then there was a moment when I suddenly remembered lunch time - that was a moment on my journey through that day when I was 'admiring the view'.  I find it so easy to forget the moments of respite that I get, and yet in reality I probably have as many of those moments as I do the hard times.

I'm pleased to say that as I am having to creatively think about this topic for work purposes, it is making me continually look out for those moments in my week when I can 'admire the view'.

There was the lovely dog walk that I had yesterday, I had over stretched myself with how far I had gone so took some time to sit at a lake 10 minutes walk from home.  Once the dog had got over her confusion as to why I had stopped, it was a fantastic 15 minutes of peace.  I got to watch a heron swimming, I was thinking how unusual it was to see one swimming and not standing at the edge where he normally is.  After about 10 minutes however he quickly dived into the lilly pads next to him and came up with something very orange in his beak, before flying off to an out of site corner.  An experience I certainly do not have every day (though as a veggie I did feel very sorry for the fish!).

What 'views' do you get to stop and admire on the journeys in life that you are making? How do you feel when you do stop?  Are you ever tempted to try and stop your journey to stay at that place of admiring?  It would be great to have your thoughts dear readers as I try and work out how I can use this topic to help those at the confirmation celebration service.

'Church' up a tree and other blessings!

We did a first today - instead of going to our regular (hard to call it that really when we rarely go) Church we decided to do 'Church' up a tree in the New Forest this morning.

We simply strolled along until we came to a place where there were fallen trees that we could sit on and then my husband got out his Bible and sat down all together.  Looking for something tree related we read John 15 where Jesus describes God as being the vine and us the branches.  You can just see on the far right a holly tree, this was the perfect example to explain these verses more clearly for the children especially as it had berries growing on it.  There was an air of quiet as we looked at all the dead wood around the tree........

It also gave us the opportunity to talk about 'grafting' as in Romans 9, especially in relation to our eldest being grafted into our family.

The kids were really relaxed, it took very little to keep them focused, we said the Lords prayer together and then continued to enjoy our walk and scrambling in the trees.

There was space for us all.

Pippin was able to join in to!

Time for conversation un-interrupted.

....and best of all for me, when we walked back towards the car the pub was open and ready to start serving food, so the youngest two got to play while they waited.  Whilst the oldest firstly got mistaken for working there, which she really liked and then got to go chat to some ladies with their ponies in the car park.

Great walk, great time with God, great food to finish, nothing could have made this more perfect.

continued to count my blessings with the community created by Ann Voskamp

178.  That first cup of tea in the morning, especially when it can be drank in the garden.
179.  Being able to give the kids the 'treat' of staying up 'late'.
180.  A garden that continues to grow and bloom despite my recent weeks of neglect.
181.  The wise wisdom of my spiritual director.
182.  Meetings completed without making me feel to blue.
183.  Volunteers willing to work with me and take risks, outside of their comfort zones.
184.  30 children already signed up to attend my holiday club.
185.  Fun and laughter in the woods with the kids as we make a 'film' for holiday club.
186.  Indulging in some embroidery which (except for cross stitch) I haven't done for around 20 years.
187.  A settled week for my parents.
188.  Letter arriving that I have requested to use in an appeal.
189.  Discovering what my puppy dog needs to stop her waking up at 5.30am in the morning!

A time for us (in Paris!!!!!!).

Last weekend, was wonderful, it was the result of a very very spontaneous decision just a few months ago.

My husband had come home from work having heard of a special deal that Air France were doing to train their staff on a new plane the A380 (the super jumbo).  A little search on the internet, a check of our diaries and the booking was made, for an incredible cheap price to.

Here are a few piccies of our special weekend.

Our plane coming in at Heathrow, my husband is a HUGE aero enthusiast and this is the first time he has been on a new plane type so soon after it has been put into service.  The journey was definately his big treat!

Leaving Blighty, an amazing view over Brighton you can see the pier and the marina amazingly well.

And relax, what a treat to find an incredible vegetarian restuarant just around the corner from Notre Dame Cathedral.  After a very leisurely meal we were then able to wonder over to the Cathedral which we were surprised to find still open.  We took the opportunity to light a candle and pray over all that we had been discussing over our meal, sealing our hopes and thanking for where we were.

We were able to linger and read some of the love messages that folk have engraved onto padlocks and affixed to this bridge - how unique and beautiful.

The under chapel at Saint Chapel in the courts of justice, my favourtie place in Paris, but not for this downstairs, for this view, which is well worth the very difficult stone spiral staircase to get to.........

This 13th century church just blows me away, it is soooo majestic, to see the results of those spiritually convicted to build something to Glorify God all those years ago is magical.

Who could this gorgeously handsome gentle man be?  My husband?  Really?  He's mine?   WOW!

We stayed in an old Parisian hotel very close to the Louvre, treating ourselves to a luxury room (after getting such a good deal on our flights).  When this photo was taken I had fallen alseep in the jacuzzi bath after a hard days walking.

On our way home again.  This was the first time we have been abroad alone since having my children 10 1/2 years ago.  It was quite a big deal, the last time we tried this was for my 40th birthday 18 months ago when we had planned to go to Prague but had to cancel it because of my sister becoming very sick and then dying.  It might have been a very quick couple of days but to be able to spend that uninterupted time with my husband was just what we needed.  Hopefully it is not going to take us 10 1/2 years to do it again!

Walking in Love.

Yesterday was our 14th Wedding Anniversary.  We had a lovely day reflecting on our wedding day and particularly on the words that were spoken to us by our vicar during the service.
  
¹ Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children ² and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  Ephesians 5, 1-2 TNIV.

We went for a walk along the beach.  It was an unusual spot - it's still used as a firing range on occassion!  There were so beautiful plants to see:

The way varied, some was stoney - very difficult for me to walk on, some was grassy - much easier for me.  There were some big stone hills which my husband was able to climb but which I needed to found a way around.  Rather like our life really though it is incredible to be reminded that we are not required to walk this life by ourselves.

In fact if we are in a relationship with Jesus then we we are charged with 'walking in the way of Love' a love that can only be gained allowing him to walk with us.  I am absolutely certain that when we do this we will get to see more and more of the beauty that is on the path around us.

One Thousand Gifts.

205. Time to make a 'Blessings' bracelet for a dear friends 50th birthday.

206. My faithful dog waiting patiently for my return home.

207. The excitement she shares with me when I return.

208. My husbands muscles and time - sorting out our compost heap!

209.  All this lovely compost, made from all our garden and kitchen waste! Ready to nourish this years growth.

210. Time to walk, and to find my limitations.

211. Crafty hands using scrap fabric, that can take over when my legs are not working properly.

212. Beautiful wild flowers.

213. A new plant for my garden 'Veronica'.  I just couldn't resist a reminder of a friend overseas!

214.  Books to read and stimulate me - currently reading Grain in Winter, full of musings on difficult situations in life.