Rumination and Mindfulness

I am reading a book at the moment called 'How Crochet Saved My Life' by Kathryne Vercillo.  It is really taking me back to my Occupational Therapy (OT) training.  The whole ethos of OT is that we are made to be productive beings and when we face illness or disability that productiveness can become disrupted.

This book is written by someone who managed to get a handle on her depression by the productivity of crochet.  This is something that resonates very much with me.  As I am reading it, I find myself going - 'I knowwwwww' it response to her statements.  One of the problems that I have found myself struggling with is rumination.  The process of going over stuff that I can do nothing about over and over again in my mind.  Breaking this habit is so difficult, however there are a few activities that I do which help me to practise 'mindfullness' which in turn breaks the rumination.  The activites that help me at the moment are; playing on my little hand held solitaire game (I usually restrict doing this to when I have a bath); swimming counting my lengths and watching the time; and crochet.

The repetitive nature of crochet, the counting of stitches and rows can totally consume my thoughts leaving no room at all for any 'ruminaiton'.  For me the greatest advantage of getting into this state of mindfullness is that I can then listen out for God.  Ruminating is so destructive to relationships, including my relationship with God.  Unless my mind shuts up I can't just be and listen for Him.

So the productivity that activity gives to me at the moment is helping me to listen to God, the rewards of that are endless. I am also getting the satisfaction of making lovely things (if you would like to see some of these please take a look at my Mrs Craftypants blog here).

Continuing to add to my list of blessings.

940. The sound of birdsong as the day ends and the church is quiet.

941. Snowdrops under the tree in my garden with the promise of their little white heads.

942. Candlelight.

943. Another two sales on Folksy.

944. A tidy craft cupboard.

945. Getting back to some card making.

946. The excitement of my puppy when I come down in the morning.

947. Watching my home cooking being devoured by my family.

948. Mum popping in for a coffee.

949. A conversation with my neice on the telephone.


       
       
           
           
       

Loose Ends.

You may remember the other day in this post I talked about having to finish a crochet project (by the way if you would like to see the finished article then you can see it over on my other blog here) which involved tidying up a lot of loose ends.  Those scraps of loose ends have been sitting in a little pot next to me all week and have proved to be very thought provoking.

Loose ends are something you have finished with but are still hanging around.  Tidying up lifes loose ends is something I would really like to do.  In most cases it is just a mindful thing which is all that is required to tidy them up.  I just need to make the decision to put them away.  In other instances there are loose ends that I need to practically do something about.  Conversations with people that need to take place to put issues to rest.  This will be hard but I am praying that I might actually get the opportunities I need to do this in the near future.

I used some of these ends as the stuffing in some little heart key rings I made.  As I was stuffing them in I was challenged to think about whether I sometimes try and stuff the loose ends of my life into a little case and sew it up.  In principle I don't think there is anything wrong with doing this.  If something is finished with it is not healthy to keep it hanging around.  I suppose it is where you put them that is the  crux of the matter.  I love this picture of one of my hearts being stuffed.  It is now serving as a reminder to give my loose ends to God.  Any other holding place will end up wearing out or coming undone, spilling those loose ends back out.  In HIS heart they are going to be safe forever.  Those loose ends haven't disappeared, but they are safely put away.  They are even being used for another purpose - not being wasted.  That idea makes me smile alot.

Epiphany.

Although Christmas has been very different (quiet) this year, I can honestly say I have absolutely loved having my children around me for the whole of Christmastide.  Too often it seems they finish school too early and you end up doing jobs for the days before Christmas day and then before you know it the New Year has come and they are back.  This year though they do not go back until tomorrow.  As my two get older it takes them longer to start to reconnect with each other after the business of their individual school term lives.  My husband and I looked at each other and rejoiced this week as we heard that connection occurring while they were playing a game together upstairs.

This morning feels like the first one in a very long time that I am alone in the house.  The children are playing in their band at our local Methodist Church and my husband is at work.  On this Epiphany morning how am I spending my time?  Thinking.  I'm munching on my toast, sipping my tea, tapping on my keyboard.  I shall shortly start tying and finishing off all the loose ends in my current crochet project (something for me!).

Tying up loose ends.  How many of these we have in our lives.  Some, it has to be said we cannot tie up ourselves.  But here is a thought, when I look at this crochet project with all it's loose ends, I know it is going to look great when it is finished.  If I then think of all the loose scraggy ends in my life it is very hard to believe that when God looks at me, he already sees that great finished me.  That is what Jesus has done for me, THAT is a miracle.  HAPPY EPIPHANY.

Simple Days

Life is seems to be starting to slow down into a simpler routine than when I was working.  On the whole my days go by at a much more gentle pace.  I am managing to get to the swimming pool three times a week with my mum, and have built up to swimming 1100m each time (that's 44 lengths of our pool) which takes me between 40 and 50 minutes depending on how many lengths I do on my back.  These are the only set activities I presently have.

Tuesday and Thursday are my non swimming days, last Tuesday felt like a break through.  The first day when I felt as though I was able to do all that I wanted to do.  I spent the morning doing some crochet after a quick catch up on facebook, twitter and blogger and checking e-mails.  After lunch I made supper for me and the children (husband was working an afternoon shift) so that it could go in the oven as my daughter has her saxophone lesson from 5.30 to 6pm.  I then did some more crochet, managing to finish off a second pair of wrist warmers/fingerless mittens for one of my God-daughters and one of my nieces.  These were then ready to package up and sent through the post BEFORE their birthdays!

When my children arrived home from school there was time for a catch up with them and we then had notice that my daughters saxophone lesson had been cancelled.  The one activity I had not managed was walking the dog so this gave me the ideal opportunity to go and do that AND to go to the local shop at the same time to get milk which we were running low on and I had noticed!

Supper was ready when I got back, I put bread on to bake in the bread maker and the day was rounded off nicely with a bit of TV with the children. An early bed when my son went up meant I could read the very good book I got on my Kindle last week, you can see what it is here.  I can highly recommend the book, I have been introduced to the author on facebook via another author friend and this is the first book of hers I have read - a very gripping historical tale.

What made this day quite so perfect?  My husband coming in from work at 10.30pm, popping his head around the bedroom door and making a lovely comment about how nice the house smelt as the bread was almost ready for him to take out :o).  Sometimes it really is the simple things.

My last Monday at work.

Today I went into work and started with morning prayer with the clergy as we always do on a Monday morning.  The difference today being this will be the last time.  I have been really surprised at how difficult finally letting go of my job has been.  I officially do not finish until Thursday, however I have only a couple of things left to do which I shall be doing on Wednesday.  I have had to go through every file on my PC making sure that I have everything in the right place and also that I am not transferring anything onto the memory stick that I should not!  Today I cam across this lovely poem, I do not know where I got it from but I am so glad that I saved it!

I AM

I was regretting the past
and fearing the future.
Suddenly my Lord was speaking:
"My name is I AM"
He paused.
I waited. He continued,
"When you live in the past
with its mistakes and regrets,
it is hard. I am not there.
My name is not I WAS.
When you live in the future,
with its problems and fears,
it is hard. I am not there.
My name is not I WILL BE.
When you live in this moment
it is not hard. I am here,
My name is I AM."

Helen Mallicoat
________________________________________
And God said unto Moses,
I AM THAT I AM:
and He said, Thus shalt
thou say unto the children
of Israel, I AM hath sent
me unto you.
Exodus 3:14

It has been a great reminder of where I should be directing my thoughts.  On that note I will continue counting my blessings with Ann over at Holy Experience this fine Monday evening.

760. Squeaky bath noises from above accompanied by beautiful 11 year old singing.

761. An amazing night away with my hubby, to celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary.

762. Cream tea at eleven o'clock in the morning!

763.  Inspiration from a market stall.

764.  Rested fingers allowing me to do some more crochet.

765.  My step mother in law coming and doing LOTS of weeding in my garden and planting up some new treasures that we found.

766.  The beautiful sunny week we had last week.

767.  Lovely hubby putting our spare bed out in the garden under the gazebo so I could rest without having to hide away in my room.

768.  My daughter coming home with muddy feet.

769.  My son bringing a new friend home to visit.

SATS week.

A couple of weeks ago my 11 year old daughter had to endure a week of statutory testing at school.  I have been praying that they would have been abolished in the format they are in by the time she got to them, but it was not to be.  My son thrived doing them last year - he is a very academically able young man.  My daughter on the other hand, is still getting to grips with her dyslexia in my opinion because of the impact of the school not listening to me for too long.

To try and give her something to smile about everyday and to enable me to have something to keep my prayers on her all day I came up with a cunning little plan.  I had started some weeks ago to make a little dolly following this pattern that I found on a lovely blog.  I altered the pattern slightly (I never can stick to instructions!) so that I could make clothing separately for it.  When I started it I was just playing, I had no idea who I was making it for.  Then the weekend before the SATS started, I suddenly had THE idea.

I finished the dolly (she had seen it but I didn't tell her it would be hers), she took it on her self to ask me if she could have it for her SATS week!  I just kept her waiting all weekend saying I hadn't decided what I was going to do with her.

Just in time for Monday morning I had her ready with her first outfit made.  I suppose I really ought to put some photo's in now, here you go:

Here she is in her underwear and necklace!  All the pictures were taken by my daughter in our garden yesterday.

 The first day it was a simple summer outfit, shorts, top and head band.

 This is her little french outfit, dress, shoes, shrug, handbag and beret

 

The next day she wore a little hippy outfit, head band, top, trousers and long jacket.

The final day was party time and so I went to town, dress, shoes, cap and coat.

I got the ideas for many of the clothes from this web site, I think I am going to have a go at making one of this ladies dolls next!  The cap in the final outfit came from here, it is an adult pattern but as I am using fine crochet cotton and a 1.5mm needle it came out just right for my dolly!  I have to say a big thank you to Pinterest at this point, it is only because of this site that I first found any of these little dolly type patterns which stirred my creative, if you would like to find my pins you can do here.

By the way we have named this little star - she is Pixie Less (as opposed to the pop start Pixie Lot!).

My daughter has now come up with the idea of making some of these for teachers gifts for the end of term - I am going to see if I can make some teeny tiny ones.

Too Spoilt

While in Florida 'The Sunshine State', I was allowed a luxurious hour and a half in a craft shop with my daughter.  Everything comes bigger over there even the craft shops.  I could have spent a lot longer browsing but knowing where my weaknesses are I decided to give lots of the fabric aisles a very wide berth so that I was not too tempted.  Something I did find was the yarn that I have made into a crocheted dishcloth.  It is Lion Brand Recycled cotton yarn and is aptly named Sunshine, now whenever I go to the kitchen sink a little bit of Florida Sunshine shines up at me :o).

It was lovely yarn to work with and I will definitely do some investigating to see if I can get some more of it, here in the UK.

Another little project I have been working on this week is this:

I bought a knit and crochet magazine which came with this yarn plus a blue and a red, the colours really sang out to me.  However once I started to use the yarn (100% acrylic) I realised just how spoilt I have become using mostly organic cottons.  It was scratchy and difficult to keep the tension  with (hence the wobbly look!). I decided to make a little project bag as I am getting into the habit of having several projects on the go at once (this helps me to craft a little longer each day without too repetitive movements making me stop).  With more than one project I seem to be constantly getting my yarns, crochet hooks and bits of crochet all tangled up.  This little bag will just do the trick and I have lined it with some fabric that came from the above named shop in Florida so that my hooks do not fall out!

And look there is another little project ready to find a home in here already using Sirdar Simply Recycled cotton - can you guess what it is going to be.  Maybe it will be in my next post.

Monday Grattitude.

I might not have been writing down my blessings on a Monday, but this is becoming such a way of life since I started counting with Ann Voskamp (press the link at the bottom of this post).  I would still very much like to get to 1000 though!

730.  Internet shopping for the few bits that I need avoiding going to the shops and seeing things that I don't need.

731.  Chatty phone calls with my niece.

732.  A job that allows me to get over my jet lag with flexible hours.

733.  A nice tidy desk ready for a new term.

734.  Several crochet projects on the go at once.

735.  Pinterest - I'm loving all the ideas it is generating in my head.

736.  Stag Antlers!  A cheap, environmentally/animal friendly dog chew which my puppy dog adores and is going to save me A LOT of money on not giving her a daily chew that she consumes quicker and quicker when we leave her.

737.  Giggling girls eating together in a restaurant.

738.  Snuggling in bed with my duvet after the heat of our holiday.

739.  Facebook scrabble - I missed you!

Busy Hands

I have had very busy hands this last month or so.  In fact they have been so busy I have been rather suffering for it.  I had been thinking I had found the perfect yarn craft in crochet as it seemed I could do so much more than when I knitted before my hands hurt with my rheumatoid arthritis.  However it now seems to have caught up with me again.

This is what I have managed to produce:

This is the first garment I have every tried to crochet,  I could not find a pattern that would suit my almost 11 year old daughter.  I therefore took the pattern from a garment for young boys from this book.  I have a little dress making experience and so knew roughly the shape the pieces needed to be, I used one of my daughters cardigans for the size.  The yarn is sirdar simply recycled cotton, I wrote a post back at the beginning of February about buying the yarn and making decisions on what to make.  I am so pleased with the end result and it fits beautifully, when I get a chance I will take a photo of her wearing it.  For those wanting a closer look at the pattern here you go:

I brought far to much yarn and so then went on to design and make this halter neck top to go underneath it:

I can't wait for our holiday where it will be warm enough for her to wear this.

Last night my itchy fingers decided to get going on a couple of new projects inspired by this wonderful blog Attic24 especially an older post I saw eons ago on mini bunting.  So I set about having ago with some left over bits of fair trade cotton I had left over from my giant  ripple blanket project (which I still have not blogged on!).  This was the result:

My daughter hasn't seen this yet I took this photo while she was at school today, it will be a little treat for her to open on her birthday!  It has got me thinking of all the different colour combinations I could use and the things I could embroider on the little flags!

There was also just time last night to cover another pot that has been sitting waiting patiently on my shelves where I sit and do:

(is the yarn familiar? yes it is more of the simply recycled, that I had left over).  This inspired me to get on and sort my shelves out, I now have 3 card board boxes which I am going to cover in a similar way to the above pot.  When that is done I shall post the results.

Enjoying Today.

                                                             Picture from April 2008

There will be days when I cannot sit and crochet a lovely girly jacket for my daughter but today I can.

There will be days when I cannot sit, listen and discuss 'The scariest thing about puberty' (her question) with my daughter, but today I have.

There will be days when I cannot mow the lawn at the front of our house and do my neighbours while I am at it to give them a surprise, but today I could.

There will be days when I cannot sit blogging while waiting for my children to come in from the hour or so of freedom with friends, but today I am.

There will be days when I cannot watch the washing on the line, but today I can.

There will be days when I cannot watch the slowly ascending sun beams on the house opposite where I am sat, but today I have.

There will be days when I cannot listen to my bread maker whirring away making us pizza dough, but today I am.

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow." Author Unknown

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.     John10:10

When Life gets too busy.

I have just been too busy the last month or so.  So busy in fact that it took me having a week off work and spending good quality time with friends to make me realise just how busy life has been in the last 3 years.  My last post was all about friendships, and I seem to have done nothing but run into story after story, blog after blog about this topic since then.  I am now trying to tackle this, it will no doubt take a little time, it may mean big changes to my working life.  However I am quite sure that if I am following the path that I believe God is leading me down then all will be well,  I just have to be patient.   Praise God!

More blessings for a Monday.

710.  Fabulous childrens Lent activity morning - I love my job!

 711.  Beauty in the hot house.

 712. Drifts of snowdrops.

 713. A small moment amongst tall trees.

 714.  Beauty even amongst that which is decomposing.

 715.  Happy dog.

 716.  A quiet moment with my friend.

 717.  Breathtaking skys.

 718.  Memory making moments.

 719.  Another crochet pot completed for a birthday girl.

New routines.

I find the hardest thing about creating new routines is that in order for something 'new' to happen an old routine must first be disposed of.  It is easy to think that we haven't got a routine for doing something (or not doing something), until you realise there is another way than the one you have been doing (or not).  For me Saturday mornings have been transformed. For a long time I have been really struggling with cooking through the week, however have not been able to recognise any space in my week where I could do a weekly cook-up.  My husband works shifts, they are on a 10 day cycle and so no week is ever the same as the next one.  However it does seem to work (I know there is a mathematical equation that could be used to work this out but really cannot be bothered to even try) that he is often around on a certain day of the week for about 6 weeks, before then not being around at that time for 6 weeks.  Since Christmas he seems to have been around on every Saturday morning.

Saturday mornings have always been chores and laundry day for us all.  The children have their set jobs that they have to carry out before lunch time, I have usually been up to my elbows in dirty washing and then clean washing!  However with hubby home he took on the job of doing the laundry which left me free to cook.  I did have to think things through by Thursday to ensure I could do a shopping list that meant hubby could go and shop for me.  I have now managed to do it for three consecutive weeks.  This Saturday, I didn't have hubby around so managed to do washing AND cooking, admittedly I didn't do all the cooking and so finished that off on Sunday morning, but still - it is getting done. An added bonus to doing this 'cook-up' has been the children's interest in it, they have now decided they are going to take turns to do it with me.  So far they have both had a turn and we have had a great time AND they are learning some new skills to!

This has meant that I have some free time in the evenings and I have been busy with my crochet hook as you can see on my last post.  I have also been adding promises to my ripple promise blanket and doing a spot of reading to.  Here is my latest completed project made from a plastic container that once housed cakes,  along with some more blessings I have seen this week.

  

700.  An orchid given by a kind friend back in October - still flowering at the end of January.

701.  Left over beads from when my little girl was much smaller.

702.  The relief that washes over when I arrive in my car on our drive.

703.  Picture hanging for my mum.

704.  Hedge trimmers.

705.  Birds in the garden keeping the view ever changing.

706.  Using up rubbish to create something pretty.

707.  Banks of daffodils already in bloom.

708.  Crocuses appearing between paving slabs.

709.  The smell of newly bathed puppy dog.

 

A little bit of Crochet.

Inspired by Tina over at the Quiet Home by this post some weeks ago I've made myself a little case to put my crochet needles in. I decided it was as good a time as ever to teach myself a new stitch.  The yarn is left over bits from hats that I have made, I am rather pleased with it.

Can you see what I have got it laid out on?  It's a little peak of my ripple promise blanket.  All the crochet is done now, I am still slowly adding promises though.  It has been such a big job that it definitely deserves a post all of it's own sometime.

Discovering Crochet

I love using my hands, the last big 'new' thing I did with fabric or yarn was the cushion I made for a friend.  I have also been busy making a scrapbook for my daughter who turned 10 years old a couple of weeks ago. I will get round to doing a blog on that I hope, I am very pleased with it. 

Knitting is something I have always had a project on the go with.  However after an unsuccessful attempt at making a cardigan I have got rather disgruntled with my knitting skills.  This has prompted me to again look at crochet - I have never been able to learn to crochet using books or written instructions.  This became very apparent after a thoughtless purchase some time ago when I decided I would learn no matter what I brought these:

Several attempts and a lot of frustration later it all went back in my knitting bag.  What I hadn't ever thought of was using new fangled technology that sits on my lap very regularly to find a video to teach me.  Good old Youtube - there are so many people who have kindly made films to show folks like me how to do stuff in nice easy visual ways.  I won't advertise any one particular person that I have used as there are so many that I have looked at and picked up tips from.  I think it is one of those things where you should look yourself and decide which voice/film does it for you :o).

The first thing I learnt to do was to make a crochet beret hats for me and my girls.  These were great fun and very quick to make.  I then had a go at making an object and decided on a cup cake as my youngest has a bit of a 'thing' for all things cupcakey.  That went well.  Then I decided it was time to tackle changing colours in a project and started on granny squares.  I am so pleased with the results, here is a picture of my youngest with her bunny 'Poppy' holding the cupcake and snuggled up in her blanket

I now have a long term project on the go - all the wool that I unravelled from the unsuccessful cardigan is now taking the shape of plain granny squares, which I will eventually use another colour to crochet them all together to make a blanket for the sofa downstairs, so that when I am a little chilly but it doesn't warrant any heating going on myself, my husband and kids can all snuggle down together.

I have also discovered that I can use a very small crochet needle and embroidery thread to make some really pretty card toppers, these are some of the most recent ones I have done

 

I haven't put the whole of the last photo on as I know the god-daughter for whom it is for looks at this blog and I do not want to totally ruin any surprise :o).

I am also now going to take a break from my plain squares to make a present for the same god-daughter, I can't believe she is going to be 8 soon!

Whenever I have a spare moment now I love looking through crochet images on google - it is tremendous what some people have thought to do, this is by far my favourite, I wonder if I will ever get round to having a go at something so vast