My last Monday at work.

Today I went into work and started with morning prayer with the clergy as we always do on a Monday morning.  The difference today being this will be the last time.  I have been really surprised at how difficult finally letting go of my job has been.  I officially do not finish until Thursday, however I have only a couple of things left to do which I shall be doing on Wednesday.  I have had to go through every file on my PC making sure that I have everything in the right place and also that I am not transferring anything onto the memory stick that I should not!  Today I cam across this lovely poem, I do not know where I got it from but I am so glad that I saved it!

I AM

I was regretting the past
and fearing the future.
Suddenly my Lord was speaking:
"My name is I AM"
He paused.
I waited. He continued,
"When you live in the past
with its mistakes and regrets,
it is hard. I am not there.
My name is not I WAS.
When you live in the future,
with its problems and fears,
it is hard. I am not there.
My name is not I WILL BE.
When you live in this moment
it is not hard. I am here,
My name is I AM."

Helen Mallicoat
________________________________________
And God said unto Moses,
I AM THAT I AM:
and He said, Thus shalt
thou say unto the children
of Israel, I AM hath sent
me unto you.
Exodus 3:14

It has been a great reminder of where I should be directing my thoughts.  On that note I will continue counting my blessings with Ann over at Holy Experience this fine Monday evening.

760. Squeaky bath noises from above accompanied by beautiful 11 year old singing.

761. An amazing night away with my hubby, to celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary.

762. Cream tea at eleven o'clock in the morning!

763.  Inspiration from a market stall.

764.  Rested fingers allowing me to do some more crochet.

765.  My step mother in law coming and doing LOTS of weeding in my garden and planting up some new treasures that we found.

766.  The beautiful sunny week we had last week.

767.  Lovely hubby putting our spare bed out in the garden under the gazebo so I could rest without having to hide away in my room.

768.  My daughter coming home with muddy feet.

769.  My son bringing a new friend home to visit.

Another Poem/Psalm - Pain.

My chest is tight
breathing is such effort,
My heart has burst
I no longer feel its beat.
Starving my mind of all that it needs.

My tears come in bursts
none for days and then not stopping.
My spirit is heaving
moving like water in the ocean
Encouraged then discouraged by all that passes.

Moments of peace do come
that 'peace that passes all understanding'
I have to wait for them
patiently, patiently, patiently wait.
My breath will come, my heart will beat,
my tears will dry and one day my spirit will soar.

Christina Rossetti

The Church of England remembers Christina Rossetti (1830-1894) in its calendar today. I always take part in Morning Prayer at work on a Monday morning. I seem to be noticing poets rather a lot at the moment, I am presuming it is like when I was pregnant and you suddenly notice lots of pregnant women! As this poet is being recognised by the Church of England today and as it is still just National Poetry month I thought I would look into her some more. I was at first a little surprised at how melancholy most of her poems are, though when you then look at the fact that she spent a lot of time helping those who had nothing, maybe this isn't too surprising. This is one which particularly struck me, though quite sombre, there is a quiet hope and faith which I can see bursting through. Thank you Christina Rossetti.

A Better Resurrection.

I have no wit, no words, no tears;
My heart within me like a stone
Is numb’d too much for hopes or fears;
Look right, look left, I dwell alone;
I lift mine eyes, but dimm’d with grief
No everlasting hills I see;
My life is in the falling leaf:
O Jesus, quicken me.
My life is like a faded leaf,
My harvest dwindled to a husk:
Truly my life is void and brief
And tedious in the barren dusk;
My life is like a frozen thing,
No bud nor greenness can I see:
Yet rise it shall–the sap of Spring;
O Jesus, rise in me.
My life is like a broken bowl,
A broken bowl that cannot hold
One drop of water for my soul
Or cordial in the searching cold;
Cast in the fire the perish’d thing;
Melt and remould it, till it be
A royal cup for Him, my King:
O Jesus, drink of me.

I am

I AM

I was regretting the past

and fearing the future.

Suddenly my Lord was speaking:

"My name is I AM"

He paused.

I waited. He continued,

"When you live in the past

with its mistakes and regrets,

it is hard. I am not there.

My name is not I WAS.

When you live in the future,

with its problems and fears,

it is hard. I am not there.

My name is not I WILL BE. "

When you live in this moment

it is not hard.

I am here,

My name is I AM."

Helen Mallicoat

I have been feeling so blue the last few days, clearing my documents folder at work this morning I refound this poem, I cannot remember where I got it from. I think it's words describe exactly where I would like to be.

A Poem - from me???

Well Susanne and Kathy you have inspired me - for the first time in a very long time (probably 20+ years when I was in school) - I have had a go at doing a little poem - I know it's a childish attempt - but then I also believe I have to start somewhere!

This is the view out of my living room window, where I sit with my laptop, and this is the little fellow I have been watching all week!

The Blue Tit in Spring

Busy busy busy

all through the day

in and out that little hole

beak full beak empty

the product is hidden

to me at least

though others of their kind

appear to be keeping a very close eye

are they thinking of stealing this hard work?