Where Does My Help Come From?

Psalm 121
A song of ascents.

I lift up my eyes to the hills

where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip

he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you

the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm

he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

Have you ever had to make a decision that you feel so unable to make? Having to do this absolutely terrifies me! I feel almost paralysed, it also makes me feel as though my faith is so small. Why can't I read the above psalm and do it!!!!! I know, I really know that I have to just trust not myself but the God to whom I am supposed to be giving my life back to. Why do I think I should be able to do it - am I perfect!! I'm pleased to say I'm not that delusional!!

In a week and a half my niece is going to come and stay for 3 weeks. She has stayed with us for 2 weeks before now during the school holidays and this has gone well. The difference is, this stay is going to involve her going to a school. This is the last part of the plan to help enable her to feel comfortable with the decision about coming to live with us.

It is a very lonely decision to make, even though others are involved in it. I pray that friends will not become compassion fatigued with my continual angst. I can honestly say I don't know if I could put up with what they are having to put up with. In the meantime I will continually attempt on a minute by minute basis to 'lift my eyes up', thank you Lord for not growing weary with me.