Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Dangerous Words.

Have you ever had something said to you or misunderstood what is being said to you which has then caused you damage?

A few weeks ago when we were going through a rather bad patch in our kinship caring journey.  You can read more about that here or if you want to know more about what kinship caring is and how I qualify to discuss it by clicking on the kinship caring label on the right hand side of this blog.  This bad patch rustled all the children's services into action (again) appearing to offer us all sorts of help.  However we are not poorly informed and did have a fairly good idea that there were not really any options open to us that we felt we could use.

It was during a these discussion with a mental health professional when I was told that my nieces ONLY hope was for us to continue to battle through her difficulties with her.  The only other option was for her to go into care (which is why we took her in, in the first place - no change there then).

At the time I felt I was only being told what my husband and I already knew.  However what I didn't realise was just how HEAVY that word was and how debilitating it was for me to try and carry it.  It was not until some amazing pastoral workers recognised this and prayed through this with me that I realised just how heavy a burden had been placed on me.  I actually felt the weight lift off my shoulders.  I was suddenly thinking, why am I sitting so slouched, it was of course because the weight was physically pushing me down and I could not feel this until it was taken away. 

The truth of the matter is that, yes we are probably her BEST hope in this physical world to nurture and try and help her grow into an adult.  However we have FAITH and we know that HE is her ONLY hope - no human can take that on.  It surprises me that though these children's services professionals know very well that we have a strong Christian faith, but not once have they in any way checked with us that we are being spiritually supported.  When I trained to be an occupational therapist, it was already widely accepted that our well-being is dependant on our emotional, physical and spiritual health and yet not once has our spiritual needs been checked.  Thank God for the good spiritual people who have been happy to journey with us and their wise counsel and no wonder so many child placements fall down when unacceptable burdens are (hopefully unknowingly) placed on them.

Life remains turbulent here, and we are finding new ways to try and cope with this, taking every hour as it comes is a good place to start. 

1 comment:

  1. You both amaze me with your selflessness. Your niece is very fortunate to have people like you in her life. I am glad you are getting the spiritual support you need. xxxx