It has been yet another difficult week, it seems that just when we think things can't get worse they do. My niece for whom we kinship care has now been admitted to a high dependency unit at an adolescent mental health unit. The feelings of failure continue to dog me even though I know that we have done all that we have been capable of in the circumstances. A couple of days ago I talked with the staff and we have our first big multi-disciplinary meeting next Wednesday to discuss ways forward for us and her. We really are not sure whether we are going to be able to meet her needs by having her back with us. Knowing that this meeting is now set has unnerved me again after starting to accept this fact.
After yet another 3 hour sleep this afternoon before my other two children came in from school I was feeling quite despondent and sorry for myself and posted this tweet:
"flossyadam is sick and tired of feeling mopey and sleepy, need some motivational thoughts to get me going again!"
Within moments this tweet came up from Compassion UK, not directed to me personally but golly it has made me sit up:
"For the LORD loves justice; he will not forsake his saints. Psalm 37:28"
The reason it made me sit up was because for a couple of weeks a small group of people from church have been praying for us. They had a picture which they shared first for my husband and then with me last Sunday, the picture was of a pair of scales, not the sort that tell you your weight (I see that picture every time I pass a mirror) but scales of justice. That is what we want in the situation we are in justice for all of us, our children, my niece and ourselves. It is going to be a long journey and I know there will be no quick fixes but I will keep my eyes fixed on God and call for his justice to reign supremely in our lives.
I thought I would just share the rest of the Psalm with you as it is just so utterly brilliant!
Psalm 37 - Of David.
1 Do not fret because of those who are evil
or be envious of those who do wrong;
2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.
3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the LORD
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.
9 For those who are evil will be destroyed,
but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.
10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
though you look for them, they will not be found.
11 But the meek will inherit the land
and enjoy peace and prosperity.
12 The wicked plot against the righteous
and gnash their teeth at them;
13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
for he knows their day is coming.
14 The wicked draw the sword
and bend the bow
to bring down the poor and needy,
to slay those whose ways are upright.
15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.
16 Better the little that the righteous have
than the wealth of many wicked;
17 for the power of the wicked will be broken,
but the LORD upholds the righteous.
18 The blameless spend their days under the LORD’s care,
and their inheritance will endure forever.
19 In times of disaster they will not wither;
in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.
20 But the wicked will perish:
Though the LORD’s enemies are like the flowers of the field,
they will be consumed, they will go up in smoke.
21 The wicked borrow and do not repay,
but the righteous give generously;
22 those the LORD blesses will inherit the land,
but those he curses will be destroyed.
23 The LORD makes firm the steps
of the one who delights in him;
24 though he may stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.
25 I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.
26 They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be a blessing.[b]
27 Turn from evil and do good;
then you will dwell in the land forever.
28 For the LORD loves the just
and will not forsake his faithful ones.
Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed;
the offspring of the wicked will perish.
29 The righteous will inherit the land
and dwell in it forever.
30 The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom,
and their tongues speak what is just.
31 The law of their God is in their hearts;
their feet do not slip.
32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous,
intent on putting them to death;
33 but the LORD will not leave them in the power of the wicked
or let them be condemned when brought to trial.
34 Hope in the LORD
and keep his way.
when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it.
35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man
flourishing like a luxuriant native tree,
36 but he soon passed away and was no more;
though I looked for him, he could not be found.
37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
a future awaits those who seek peace.[d]
38 But all sinners will be destroyed;
there will be no future[e] for the wicked.
39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD;
he is their stronghold in time of trouble.
40 The LORD helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.