We are off on a little family holiday in a couple of days. However it is going to be a strange one and I am having a few problems trying to prepare myself for it. This will be the first time we have been away since my sister died in November. It will also be the first time that I have been back to my mums house since I was there for the funeral. It will also be the first time that we have taken our neices away with us. It is also going to be the first time we have been away with a particular friend and her family.
That feels like way to many firsts!!!!
It is also going to be my dead sisters birthday on Saturday 14th February!!!!
I have had a lot of losses in my life, broken relationships, lost dreams, etc. I have also had deaths, my uncle when I was 20, my grandparents and both my husbands parents in the last 8 years. I have had people say to me during these times that I am grieving, and I have absolutely no doubt that they were right.
Why is it then that I do not recognise the emotions that I am now feeling as I grieve for my sister. I realise that being the person I am, I am also feeling for my mum, dad and my 11 year old neice as well as myself, however, this grief is just so alien!
I've been wondering if Grief is a God given emotion - but then as far as I understand we were not made to feel loss - we had eternal life when we were made and in the Garden of Eden. It is only because of the fall that death appeared - and therefore why grief exists?
I can take heart from knowing that God can turn all things for the good (Romans 8:28). But I do still need more faith to cope with thinking about this holiday - Help me God (pinched from Kathy!).