Wednesday, 11 February 2009

The Nature of Grief

We are off on a little family holiday in a couple of days. However it is going to be a strange one and I am having a few problems trying to prepare myself for it. This will be the first time we have been away since my sister died in November. It will also be the first time that I have been back to my mums house since I was there for the funeral. It will also be the first time that we have taken our neices away with us. It is also going to be the first time we have been away with a particular friend and her family.

That feels like way to many firsts!!!!

It is also going to be my dead sisters birthday on Saturday 14th February!!!!

I have had a lot of losses in my life, broken relationships, lost dreams, etc. I have also had deaths, my uncle when I was 20, my grandparents and both my husbands parents in the last 8 years. I have had people say to me during these times that I am grieving, and I have absolutely no doubt that they were right.

Why is it then that I do not recognise the emotions that I am now feeling as I grieve for my sister. I realise that being the person I am, I am also feeling for my mum, dad and my 11 year old neice as well as myself, however, this grief is just so alien!

I've been wondering if Grief is a God given emotion - but then as far as I understand we were not made to feel loss - we had eternal life when we were made and in the Garden of Eden. It is only because of the fall that death appeared - and therefore why grief exists?

I can take heart from knowing that God can turn all things for the good (Romans 8:28). But I do still need more faith to cope with thinking about this holiday - Help me God (pinched from Kathy!).


  1. Jesus promised, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4).

    Grief is a strange creature, it manifests itself in so many emotions, accept, try and roll with the punches and take care of you.
    Lots of love Ko xxxx

  2. I don't know that grief is not a God given emotion you know, We're made in His image and He is able to grieve. The ability to grieve and feel loss and separation is part of our complete creatureness, it's the sinful fallen world we live that provides us with the unfathomable reasons for grief - not the capacity to do so -grieving is akin to compassion, we hurt for others & ourselves in our loss and separation. In itself it's not bad - it's a healing thing.
    Hope your break is a good one. xx

  3. thank you fibrefairy - I can see where you are coming from, I think I agree that the emotions we feel in grief are God given as you say we are made in his image and he shows his emotions to us in the bible. I'm still not convinced that grief is God given though - but will work with it and hopefully keep learning about it.

  4. :D you can ignore me - I've been working through the whole "suffering" issue this module! interesting on the back of last year as you can imagine!
    I could discuss it loads, but it's too raw for you honey - I know that -

    God understands - it wasn't just him looking down and feeling pain at the cross - he was on it too, remember - double whammy ... hang in there :-) love you

  5. Thank you fibrefairy - your support is very much appreciated.