Tuesday, 23 March 2010

The worst parent.

I have decided that being a parent is absolutely the worse job in the world when your primary love language is words of affirmation!

I have been aware of the love languages for a long time (5 love languages Gary Chapman), however other than being able to discount a couple I have never really understood which is my primary one.

However the other evening when I was having tea witht he family, which I had cooked from scratch (a fairly recent phenomena) - all was quiet.  Now I know that is a good sign really, but for some silly reason I needed some confirmation that it was alright in words - so I said - 'Hows the food?'.  Now obviously at 8 and 10 my daughter and son told me the truth - they had had/prefered better.  It was at this point that I pointed out to my husband that, that sort of response must be like when he is at work and gets told his communication at work is just okay, but he could do better.

I have also decided that having a perfectionist streak in you is also a terrible hazard to parenting.  I find it very difficult to consider that I will not be able to do it all 'right'.  When the wrong things I have done are laid bare it hurts so badly. 

So where is my faith? as often seems to happen with me I let things spiral far to far before I suddenly remember that it is not just about me.  I cannot parent without God at all and only He can be perfect in his parenting of me and those I care for....... so I try and let go..........and let God.

1 comment:

  1. You and I are SOOOOO much alike, Jane. My primary love language is also Words of Affirmation, but my husband is an introvert who is very quiet about everything. Sigh.

    Yes, being a parent of older kids is hard--especially when we live for affirming words. It sounds trite, but we know Who speaks His Word to us--always affirming that we are His.

    Love to you, dear Jane!