One of the things that I unexpectedly got out of my recent counselling was the knowledge of how much I have been raised believing that I am only worth the sum total of what I do. Even sadder to discover was the realisation that no matter what the sum total was, it's worth was only that which was expected, I was never able to exceed expectations. Having now had a month of rest since finishing work, my 'worth' is once again feeling challenged.
My lack of physical energy has led me to be rather housebound of late. I have been getting out to go swimming, a little shopping, a little dog walking and taking my children to groups when my husband is not around, but the rest of the time I have been home. I have been doing bits of reading, crochet and sewing and have managed to do a little cooking. How hard it is to accept that this is enough. Even my usual love of social networking has waned, since everybody seems to be off doing stuff and achieving stuff. I might add, just as I so often have done in the past.
So what can I learn from now - I suppose it might just be time to start accepting that being 'just' me is fine. Maybe I need to spend time with my creator believing all that He says about me, that there really is NOTHING that can separate me from His love.
Maybe these are two bible verses that I can hold on to this week:
Matthew 10:29-31 (NIV)
Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)
Continuing to count my blessings this Monday.
810. Peachy sun-kissed clouds in the evenings.
811. The joy of watching the tennis at Wimbledon on the TV.
812. Having other people praise the achievements of your children.
813. Purple pink flowers poking high so that I can see them through my window from my comfy seat.
814. Honesty even when it hurts.
815. The three stones in my engagement ring which remind me that He is always in the middle of our relationship.
816. Memories of a red dress.
817. Being encouraged to say 'no' when I needed to.
818. The simpleness of each day.
819. The blanket which keeps my toes warm on these very cold summer days!