My Ethical/Environmental Living Journey - Vegetarianism.

I recently gave my whole blog a bit of a going over adding labels to all the posts that I had written. I know I should have done it from the beginning, but for some reason I just couldn't be bothered. (With hindsight, I so wish I had, it took an age to do it all!). I was quite pleased to note so many labels to the posts I had written, a pretty mixed bunch of stuff, which I do think reasonably reflects my life - with one exception.

I was appalled to realise that I haven't (unless I missed it) ever blogged about my ethical and environmental journey. I like to console myself with the fact that in most things I am still 'Trying to find me', however on this one subject I think I totally know where I am! I will try and recap now on where this journey started and how it has progressed.

I think the starting point was probably when I met the man who was to become my gorgeous husband. He had been vegetarian since his teens and let onto me in the very early stages of our relationship that he didn't like kissing me after I had eaten meat! I was a little shocked, but not being the sort of person to resist a challenge I very quickly stated that I had better turn vegetarian then - and did. It was an overnight thing, a bit like my spiritual conversion I suppose. I realise now that my reasons for doing so what not really very ethical or environmental, however over the last 15 years I have developed a very keen sense of why I remain vegetarian. It is not really anything to do with not 'eating' animals (or fish) but much more to do with how I feel society treats animals (and fish). I remember growing up when we would go out for a meal and you could have 'steak' as a real treat, these days, it seems you have a right to eat as much of this as you want. It's this demand that is unpalatable for me, as with all demand and supply chains, this means that industry takes over trying to supply as much as cheaply as possible, blow the costs to the animals or the environment. The other side of my argument for being and remaining a vegetarian is that it is how I believe God made us to be. In the Bible we are told that Adam and Eve were given all leaves and grains to consume, it was not until after the flood in the time of Moses that they were told they could consume meat. So it gives me a great reassurance of the future of returning to a 'new earth' when the 'rapture' finally takes place. Considering I eat at least three meals a day, this is not a bad thing to be reminded of on a regular basis.

There is of course another reason - the stubborn part of me is determined to show all those folks who reckon it isn't healthy not to eat meat and fish that it is completely and absolutely possible. And I do delight in every new research article that appears telling us that it is actually possible to be healthier eating a balanced vegetarian diet than a carnivorous one. I am very proud of raising my two youngest (now 8 and 9) in this manner. They know the reasons why I have done this and they are free to choose what they would like to eat when out or when I am not cooking. The one thing that they will often submit to is jelly sweeties (the Haribo variety particularly). I do not purchase this sort of gelatin containing stuff for them but if others give it to them I do make sure they are aware of what it contains but they are free to consume if they wish (mostly they choose to do this!). It does frustrate me that there are not more vegetarian sweeties available, I know it is possible to get non gelatin containing stuff but shops just don't stock them!

I do not mind people asking me why I am a vegetarian, I do not so enjoy it when people try and tell me there are better causes to stand for. Hopefully you will see in the next few posts that be a vegetarian is not my only claim attempting a more ethical and environmental lifestyle.

I have found that as time goes on I am becoming more aware of what I am buying. For a while now I have avoided all leather products (I'm not vegan, but think leather products are in the same supply/demand crisis). Unfortunately I have not been able to do much in the way of shoes, though I do have a few pairs of vegetarian friendly ones (this is due to my foot shape and bone problems). I am very much looking forward to a visit to Brighton next month with my hubby so that we can go and visit the Vegetarian Shoe Shop http://www.vegetarian-shoes.co.uk/, we have had some lovely purchases for him from there in the past.

I am sure I could still improve some more on this journey, but it is a journey that I wouldn't swap for anything.

Home Produce

I have had a mixed result in my veg patch this year. We have had some good crops:

rhubarb
french beans
spring onions
carrots
spinach

and some disappointing crops:

tomato (got blight again!!!!)
pumpkins
cucumber
sweetcorn
melon
lettuce.

We did get some surprising crops, like potatoes which I hadn't even planted, a root in the compost maybe?? Had enough for a meal for the 5 of us and were a good size, but plants got blight after the tomatoes so had to dig up early to burn the plants along with the tomato plants. My mum has helped no end, her early mornings (4.30 am onwards) mean she has usually done a good few hours before anyone else has been up. She managed to salvage lots of green tomatoes which as you can see by the picture have nicely ripened by the window.

So over the last couple of days I have worked in the garden a little and with my sons help have managed to sow some more carrots, transplant some seedlings that mum sowed in trays a few weeks ago, lettuce, sweetcorn and pumpkins and have carefully erected some nets over them, hoping we might get a little more produce before the end of the year.


the spring onions and spinach in the colander are what went into my risotto last night for my husband and I and it really was quite delicious even if I do say so myself.

Acts of Kindness.

I have got a bit of a blog block again at the moment - looking through some photos the other day has made me realise how little I have been writing about what we have been up to. This picture made me think of some lovely acts of kindness that some people have shown us in the last week or so. The picture shows a pile of 'new arrival' cards that I made. These have mostly been sent to folks who we don't see or correspond with regularly. What prompted me to do it was the thought that these folks would have been very upset for it to have got to Christmas and discover my niece appearing in all our cards without us telling them (I also have to confess I couldn't bear the thought of cards arriving without her mentioned in them).

As soon as these were sent out we then went away for a few days, leaving my parents in our home to enjoy some Southern weather (which turned out not to be much better than their midlands weather). They received several phone calls from friends and relatives who were responding to receiving the cards - this made my mum feel good and also meant we got to see my daughters God-mother who we hadn't had chance to tell we were going to be in her neck of the woods.

We also came back to discover several cards written by Aunts and cousins, one of these was from my husbands cousin who I have only met 2 or 3 times, she wrote the most amazing message to my niece welcoming her into an extended family. We have even received a phone call from Australia!

This has been a real unexpected joy and has reminded my husband and myself how fortunate we are to have such supportive friends and family, even if we are not always aware they are supporting us.

Grief

I was shown a poem a couple of months after my sister died that I really did not like, my memory of it might be skewed but I often think about it. It was describing grief as being like a faithful dog following you around.

I have to say that this is so far from my experience I cannot relate to it at all. My grief hangs around like a nasty smell. It's stench is sometimes strong, sometimes weak. It appears at times when I do not always expect it. I don't like it - I would do anything to get rid of it. It does not remind me of nice things about my sister. It reminds me of dead things, her cold yellowing body in the hospital. It reminds me that I will never get to say goodbye, I will never get to hold her and hug her. I will never get to chat on the phone to her. I will watch her daughter grow up and do stuff that she will never be able to show to her mum.

My grief reminds me that others have lost my sister as well, it makes my heart ache for my mum and dad and her daughter. I remember writing a post in the early days of this blog about how I couldn't believe that God wanted us to feel grief. I still cannot believe that when he created us, he 'gave' us the ability to have grief. I can believe that he gave us the emotions to feel that suddenly combine and create 'grief'. But we were made to live in harmony with all creation, if the fall had not happened would the creatures that God made have died? Big questions to have in your mind on a Wednesday morning.

I had better try and pull myself back together now and get on with the morning chores - my two little ones are finishing school for the summer at lunch time - much to their releif - the big one got to finish yesterday 'It's not fair'.

A Day with my Youngest.

Yesterday was an unusual one, as I am still not too mobile my husband went off with the eldest two and family friends to a great big annual airshow. Our youngest had a party to go to in the afternoon and as she has been feeling rather wobbly the last few months since our eldest arrived, I thought I would try and pull out all the stops and give her a whole day of my attention.

I had a chat with her the night before and said we would make a plan in the morning (the ones going out were going to be leaving at 5.30 AM!). I requested that she wouldn't come and get me out of bed before 7.30 but said she could come down and watch some tv if she wanted to from 7am (this is our normal routine).

She came into me at 7.30 (I was reading having woke up early!), and said she had been in bed reading to (this is very new for her). We then spent the next couple of hours eating our breakfast in front of the television (watching her programmes, not my preference of the news). We also decided on our plan of action for the day.

The plan was:

1. Get showered/bathed and dressed and spend some time pampering each other.



2. Make cards ( she needed to do one for the party she was going to later).



3. Have lunch in front of the TV (a very rare treat indeed!).



4. Do some baking together.



5. Get herself ready for the party.



6. Go to the party.

This felt reasonably realistic and I even managed to get her to tidy her room while we were 'pampering' each other (naughty mummy doing something she wanted to do!).

I kept in my mind all day the fact that I would get a couple of hours while she was at the party to myself, which really helped me to focus on her.

I sometimes beat myself up for not having more desire to spend more time with my youngest daughter. I really do find her quite hard work and she does require a lot of attention which seems to have the effect of making me not want to give it to her - hmmmm.

Yesterday however, it just all seemed to work, every time I felt myself getting a bit distracted I was able (with Gods help I know) to get back on track.

Here are a few photos of what we got up to.

this is the craft, I taught her a bit of decoupage using an image off the Internet.
the lovely yummy cakes she made and decorated.

the beans on toast and glass of milk after the party.

Living Life As If Each Day Might Be Your Last.

If you lived life as if each day might be your last what would you do? This has been on my mind and awful lot in the last 7 months since my sister died. It has been a real 'spiritual' spur to get me thinking about why my life exists.



I find it very easy to get drawn into the gloom that seems to exist in our world today, the 'what difference can I make?' question is so much easier to dismiss than to really grapple with. However I do believe that we can make huge differences with the smallest of acts. The problem is they might not make huge differences to ourselves. Even more precarious is the acceptance that they might even 'cost' us something.



As a Christian I believe that Jesus' life on earth is the gift of example to how, us mere mortals are able to live. I do not believe this is the only reason why Jesus came to earth but this aspect is one I want to explore some more.

So what are things that Jesus taught us? Fairness, faithfulness, passion, generosity, worshipful, I really could go on and on, however I think the following verse is probably the most difficult for us to replicate.

Mathew 22 36 - 40

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."



So firstly we need to love God with the whole of ourselves, to me this means putting Him at the forefront of everything that I do. Loving him more than I love my husband and my children! Is this really acheivable? I am sure it is but I know that I do not easily achieve it, even for just a part of my day. Secondly loving others as you love yourself. The point of this that takes my breath away is the fact that we should be loving and taking care of ourselves. However we can not stop there, taking care of ourselves to the detriment of those around you is just not an option.



For me this is the lynch pin of how I can live each day not neccessarily as if it was my last but certainly as I feel God would want me to be living it.

Changing Rooms.

We have had a tough weekend. Fortunately there have been a few light moments but I certainly feel as though I could have done with a few more.



There has been a lot of physical changes in our home since my 12 yr old niece came to live with us. Our spare room no longer exists, so we have had to have new units downstairs to house bits and pieces that belonged to myself and my husband which were in there (not quite completed this stage as there are still two boxes of books on our bedroom floor). This room has now been decorated and new furnishings put into (except for bed).



My sons old room is now my nieces room. It has been cleared except for my sons old bed, the clothes rail in the built in wardrobe has been placed higher. The first coat of colour has gone on - it's very red! Her white high bed has been purchased with a desk and storage under it, hopefully it should arrive in the next two weeks. Once that is in we can properly assess how much more storage is required, we do have a nice set of black shelves from the old 'spare' room which we can get some rather funky glass doors to go on, but don't know whether that much will be required yet - a lot of her stuff is still at my parents place.



The demise of the 'spare' room also means that I have had to halve my wardrobe so that I can share it with my husband - he used the 'spare' one before that.



Today we are trying out a new 'system' for the laundry. It seems my darling little niece has quite an issue about putting stuff away properly (I know she's almost a teenager and that is what they do!) - especially dirty clothes. As small and petty as it might seem it has really got me in a stew. I am a stickler for only washing once or at the most twice a week. I have found that this means stuff doesn't get put in the wash unless it really needs to go in it. It also means that when putting lovely fresh clean clothes on the washing line I can see exactly what has been worn (or not!). This is how I have discovered the disappearing act that most of my nieces clothes seem to do. So the system that I have used for the last 13 + years of my married and family life is going (at least for a trial period). The washing baskets we used, one for whites, one for light colours, one for dark colours, were always kept in my wardrobe. Maybe the trip to our room was just too far?????? So my husband has come up with the idea of using a chest that used to live in the 'spare' room but which up until today has had no home. This is going to be kept on the landing (between all the rooms).



I have no idea if any of these changes is going to work well, they have taken an awful lot of energy and thought. It has reconfirmed to me the importance of not getting too attached to 'stuff' or 'systems', but as with all change it really is not easy.